Week One

[stagemanagers]

[Yesterday, everyone woke up in a strange place and realized that they'd been kidnapped, and also that everyone else around them may or may not be kinnies? Wow, what a weird escalation of kin drama! Given what some people have seen of Spongebob's freaky arm thing, though, maybe it's not that at all?

Your Assistant Director, Hester, showed off her stuff and immediately had her life threatened by Lumpy Space Princess, who got her life threatened right back. Maybe you should keep that in mind if you decide to pay Hester any more visits! She won't be making another public appearance this week, but as promised, she'll be available for visits and consultation in the Principal's Office during business hours.

If you don't want to chat with Hester, there's always the school to explore! Some of you might also be receiving mysterious coins next to your bedside this week - those must be useful for something, right? There's lots to do, and you all seem like a group who can make your own fun, so enjoy your first week of school!]


Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday


(( OOC: This will be the last mod post for this week! Feel free to start submitting regains for any threads that aren't with Hester. Remember, song threads mean an extra coin! This is a peace week, so get all that CR while you can! ))

Comments

[barberic]

This...doesn't seem accurate.

[what, indeed. He'd been hoping for something to get him a little caught up with the supposedly modern times, not...shadow puppet theater.]

If it is, it's certainly American.

[mcfife]

What kingdom was not founded on battle?

[Angus at least is fascinated by the presentation. He has no clue what any of this is about.]

[barberic]

[A soft snort.]

Oh, America was founded on battle, alright. Just not...this. As far as I know.

[A metaphor, perhaps?]

[stagemanagers]

[Well, whatever's going on, it might prove a little dangerous; looks like Bigfoot's starting to swing one of those big plywood boards around. Y'all better get out of dodge or like, duck.]

[barberic]

Oh, hell- get back!

[He thought the boards were also shadow, until he narrowly misses getting brained with one.

He moves to put himself between the swinging boards and the women and children, but doesn't otherwise move to intervene.]

What are we supposed to do, here?

[feudalladyshandmaid]

[Cassandra's ducked and weaved back behind the shadows. Or, she would, if he wasn't trying to put himself in between them and her.]

Maybe we need to fight them? Or, if they're already fighting, maybe one needs to be left standing.

[mcfife]

[Angus leaps back. Shadow magic.]

They will not cease until one falls. If we let them fight alone, they will cause harm to all in the room. [Time to grab his own plank of wood.] Who do we side with in this story?

[wanderlusttitania]

Ah-!

[She staggers back.]

Wait, are we supposed to help?

[whatyouwant]

Abraham Lincoln was a pretty cool guy, so maybe him?

[A little wide-eyed, she gestures at the man in the top hat]

[brokeforgood]

[Farrah's late with a diet coke, and she's just kindof. Munchin' on chips in the doorway.]

I D K -- Bigfoot's pretty ripped. And he's got the backing of any furries [or racists. but even farrah holds that one back. unfortunately, Samantha did not.]

[whatyouwant]

The who?

[Ya girl definitely does not know what furries are. Are you going to be the one to tell her?]

[feudalladyshandmaid]

What's a "Bigfoot"?

[...Oh no.]

What's a "furry"?

[brokeforgood]

Uh.... [how does she break it to them?]

They have big feet and are covered in fur. And like to.... you know. With things also covered in fur. [She's making. Very crude signals w her fingers.]

[feudalladyshandmaid]

...Oh. Eugh!

[Gross! recoiling, waving her hands over her face.]

Stop! Stop! ugh, I like Bigfoot even less.

[Yeah.... Bigfoot....]

[wanderlusttitania]

Who?

[Oh no, what is she missing here!?]

[whatyouwant]

The one with the ha- [Ah, looks like the hat has flown off.] The human one. He was an American president; ended slavery and all that.

[wanderlusttitania]

I barely know any American presidents-

[As educated as she is American presidents...aren't exactly something she would have been expected to know.]

Well, I-how do we even side with either one!?

[stagemanagers]

[IDK, there's a lot of shit lying around you can use as improvised weapons. Which might be a little gauche to observe in a murdergame, but nonetheless.

Also - all other things aside, Bigfoot seems like it's a lot more likely to take one of you out as collateral. Not a lot of control there.]

[wanderlusttitania]

[Oh dear-

Well, Sissi goes to grab a plank as well. Not quite what she was hoping, but...if they had to help one win...

She grasps it as hard as she can.]

I...well, has the monster ever ended slavery?? Does anyone know?!

[LOOK SHE HAS ALMOST NOTHING TO GO ON-]

[feudalladyshandmaid]

Ugh, this is pointless!

[Okay. Okay! Cass is up and taking a stand - literally.

Time to start looking for a weapon.]

Let's just pick one and take them out!

[wanderlusttitania]

All right, all right, I just-this is simply a bit abrupt-!

[Deep breath.]

If it’s in my power...I shall...aid the president, then!

[whatyouwant]

I didn't pay super close attention in history class, but I'm pretty sure I would have remembered this.

[themuseabandonsyou]

Oh! Lincoln! That was his family name.

[ orpheus is now the time for this ]

I think I'd remember it too? Most presidents who fought monsters or were warriors had epics composed for them. [ And those were always easier to remember than speeches and dry history texts for him, for obvious reasons. ] Do you know who it is the President is fighting? I don't recognize them.

[whatyouwant]

That's bigfoot. It's like a monster that lives in the woods that probably isn't real. [A moment later she adds] At least in my world.

So presidents fight monsters where you're from? Like what kind of monsters?

[themuseabandonsyou]

Not all of them. But President Roosevelt bested the king of the Laestrygonians in single combat, there's a lot of really popular songs about that. And President Jackson killed, um. A lot of things. Griffins, empousa, dragons, centaurs, cyclopes... [ He starts ticking them off on his fingers. This could go on for a while. ]