itscurtains | Week Three

[Last week, some shit went down! Salieri's scene went off without a hitch, but the good mood didn't last. The first motive was a bit of a doozy, and yet it didn't even have anything to do with the eventual accidental death of Mumble Happyfeet! At least Sissi was already pretty much dating Death anyway, right? She's probably fine, wherever she is.

This week, new menus have been posted in the cafeteria. But, more importantly, it seems that other new information has emerged. Everyone wakes on Sunday with some new memories - or are they old ones? - floating around in their heads. Maybe there was something to your discussions of time travel after all. Maybe there was someting to the Wizard's knowledge of the future.

Regardless, you're still stuck in here. At least there's some new places to explore this week. Maybe you'll find something helpful.]

Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday

(( Be sure to submit your memory regains and your AC for this week! Hester's office hours and the merch booth also remain available! ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Her first instinct is to, of course, argue with Peregrine. Of course they have privacy! They have their rooms- no wait, they have roommates. There's the nurse's office- eh, not entirely. Teacher's lounge...? No.]

I don't think the Wizard would like it if- [She purses her lips, weighing the pros and cons of letting people just be in her office without her there. The biggest con is, of course, how the Wizard would feel about it. If he'd be upset for giving them such unbridled access or if he'd be proud of her for giving them a space to be comfortable in.

After a long moment of mulling it over she sighs and closes her laptop, gathering it in her arms as she rises from her chair.]

No, Connor, it's okay. I can finish what I'm doing in the other room. It's my job to give you all what you need and if that thing is privacy I can do that. [There are the "bad kid chairs" facing her desk that look reasonably comfortable along with a plate of sugar cookies and a bright green ceramic teapot with matching cups sitting on the far corner of her desk.] Make yourselves comfortable.

[ Peregrine stays glaring at Hester, the whole time. Particularly when she mentions the Wizard. Who cares what the Wizard thinks? Who cares about that bastard who kidnapped him? Is she really trying to express that to them?

But for once she swallows down her anger. She has to think rationally about this. Like— like with the bear. Hester's the bear— no. No, this whole...situation is the bear. Connor's memories. So she just has to make herself bigger. ]

Thank you. [ She doesn't sound too thankful, though. She simply pulls Connor over to the chairs. ] Come on. Just sit with me for a few minutes?

You really didn't have to oust her like that.

[He sits when she tugs him over but his voice is still quiet. If Peregrine's afraid that he'll disappear if she lets go, he's doing his level best to fade into the background.]

It's just... it's just some memories.

[I'm erasing myself from the narrative—

No. No, he's right here. He's right here, and he... it's not like that. He'll. He'll just apologize to Miguel when they get out of here and everything will be fine. It's not. It's not the end of the world.]

I don't care what she thinks. [ The unspoken admission: I care about you.

She doesn't let go. She doesn't dare. ]

What're you talking about...? They're not...just some memories. [ ... ] You're upset. You should be allowed...to be upset.

I...

[God, why are you always doing this? Attention?
Are you happy now? You have my attention, Connor.
Cut it out, Connor. Just stop this attention-seeking bullshit.
He's just looking for a t t e n t i o n.

He shakes his head.]

... can't.

Connor...

[ Her other hand rests on his elbow again. For a moment, she's soft. Then— ]

Who the hell says?! You can't just force yourself to be...to be happy, it doesn't work like that...and fuck whoever does.

Everyone. It's just. It's my fault. It...

[it’s easy to change if you give it your attention
all you gotta do
is just believe you can be who you want to be—]

... I just have to try harder, is all. I just... I just...

[He looks down at his hands in his lap and takes a breath. It's shaky, wet. Like he's trying not to cry.]

[ She squeezes Connor's hand, as the other hand travels, up to his face, to touch his cheek. Fiercely— ]

Then fuck everyone. You don't deserve that.

But it's... it's my fault. I... it was selfish. I shouldn't have...

[No, I'd rather pretend I'm something better than
these broken parts.
Pretend I'm something other than
this mess that I am.
'cause then I don't have to look at it
and no one gets to look at it—
no, no one can really see.]

... shouldn't have... given in.

[He's hiccoughing in between the words, shoulders shaking. You ever just simultaneously triggered and aware you're triggered so you're trying to stop your body from Doing That™? Yeah. He's maybe going through it.]

[ Peregrine can't listen to him say this. She can't. She doesn't know the right thing to respond, but she knows what to do.

She pulls him into a hug, tight as she can. ]

Mm-mm. No. [ The hand on his cheek slides back into his hair. The other stays, fingers laced together. ] No, Connor.

[ She hopes to a god she doesn't fully believe exists that Hester doesn't come back out right now, because she's starting to cry too. ]

[Oh.

He doesn't really remember... the last time someone hugged him. It was probably Miguel, and even then it wouldn't have been like this. Miguel respected that Connor didn't really like to be touched and would mostly bump their shoulders together or lean on him. Close enough to show affection without crossing Connor's admittedly haphazard boundaries. This is something else entirely.

Connor hiccoughs again, more like a tiny sob than anything, and clings to her.]

I'm sorry. [Quiet, like a confession.] I'm sorry.

[ Fiercely, she shakes her head. With their close proximity, it means she kind of bumps their heads together. ]

I-it's okay. [ Her voice shakes with tears. ] It's okay, Connor, I—

I got you.

[Connor takes a shaky breath and then swallows. He doesn't have the words really? But that's alright. There's gentle instrumentation in the background and his voice trembles, but the words are clear.]

/Even when the dark came crashing through
and I need a friend to get a clue
Though I'm broken on the ground,
I have been found

[Peregrine came to find him and she'll help him get through. Right? :)]

[ She runs her thumb over the back of his knuckles. Her fingers gently massage the nape of his neck. It's natural, it's instinct. I want to take care of him. I want to see him smile. That floods through her, like an undeniable truth. ]

I'll make the sun come streamin' in,
And you'll reach up and I'll take your hand.
If you ever make a sound...

[ Peregrine only breaks off because the moment overwhelms her. She uses the moment to pull her head back, so she can look Connor in the eyes. ]

I...am never gonna leave you alone. Promise.

[He does try to smile for her, even if it's clear he's not really feeling it.]

Right back atcha. [A beat.] Hey, Per? If we ever get out of here... when we get out of here... you should take me camping. Teach me cool woods stuff.

[It almost sounds like he wanted to say something else. Weird.]

Okay? [ It's not what she expects, that's for sure. An almost-laugh bubbles up from the surprise. She does manage to smile for him. ] Sure. I'll...show you how to find your way home. Build a fire. All the fun stuff.

[ It is weird, and she almost catches it, almost asks, but... but right now, she decides not to examine it.

She'll probably wish she had, much later. 'Cause what she didn't know was... ]

Edited 2021-06-24 00:53 (UTC)

Week Three

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cw: larry murphy's ableism

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cw: the sincerely me school of mental health

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