Week One

[stagemanagers]

[Yesterday, everyone woke up in a strange place and realized that they'd been kidnapped, and also that everyone else around them may or may not be kinnies? Wow, what a weird escalation of kin drama! Given what some people have seen of Spongebob's freaky arm thing, though, maybe it's not that at all?

Your Assistant Director, Hester, showed off her stuff and immediately had her life threatened by Lumpy Space Princess, who got her life threatened right back. Maybe you should keep that in mind if you decide to pay Hester any more visits! She won't be making another public appearance this week, but as promised, she'll be available for visits and consultation in the Principal's Office during business hours.

If you don't want to chat with Hester, there's always the school to explore! Some of you might also be receiving mysterious coins next to your bedside this week - those must be useful for something, right? There's lots to do, and you all seem like a group who can make your own fun, so enjoy your first week of school!]


Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday


(( OOC: This will be the last mod post for this week! Feel free to start submitting regains for any threads that aren't with Hester. Remember, song threads mean an extra coin! This is a peace week, so get all that CR while you can! ))

Comments

[yourattention]

Uh, it's like a..... flatbread? With tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese. You can put whatever you want on it, but traditional choices include various kinds of meat, vegetables, and the extremely contentious pineapple.

[He says all of this in an extremely flat monotone.]

[wanderlusttitania]

So it's like a crepe, then?

[May as well have a few bites. Om.]

...this is...actually not bad, monsieur. Why is pineapple contentious?

[...don't think she didn't notice that flat tone.]

[yourattention]

[> tell this old-timey person the truth
> ignore the question
>make up some ABSOLUTE bullshit]

A hundred years ago, Duke Wilhelm de Piña put pineapple on a pizza and served it at a party. Half of the guests loved it and half of the guests absolutely hated it. They argued about it until one of the people accidentally threw a glove down and started the First Pineapple War.

[if you say everything in a really flat monotone, it becomes incredibly difficult to tell whether you're joking or not.]

[wanderlusttitania]

Wilhelm de Piña?





[Aaaaaand suddenly she's looking at you a little bit incredulously.]

And from what house does this...Duke de Piña come from?

[yourattention]

[With absolutely zero hesitation:]

Hawaii. Then they moved to the Pineapple Castle. You should ask Spongebob about him, since he's Spongebob's ancestor and all.

[wanderlusttitania]

[For a moment she gives him what looks like the biggest and most serious stinkeye, which seems...a bit childish coming from someone so old.






Then, after a moment, she start giggling.]

Oh, that is funny, though! Pineapple War, and Pineapple Castle! Over Pineapple! It's even more funny if it's true!

I may just steal that for when I get home, just so you know. I bet Franzi would enjoy hearing that-

[no he wouldn't]

[yourattention]

I would never lie about The Pineapple Wars.

[Yes, he would.]

[wanderlusttitania]

[Smile, still the hint of a giggle on her lips.]

Well, I'll just have to warn my husband to be careful who he sides with, won't I?

[yourattention]

For sure, for sure. [A beat.] Oh god, I've just created an alternate timeline where the outcome of the Pineapple Wars is different. Time travel was a mistake.

[wanderlusttitania]

[She chuckles.]

That, I think, is something to speak to this Wizard about. If he should show himself, of course.

[yourattention]

When I meet the Wizard...

[The music swells, like it's waiting.]

... I'm gonna fucking punch first and ask questions later.

[wanderlusttitania]

Well, I know I shall have questions for him. My husband will certainly have some as well once we arrest the Wizard!

[yourattention]

Yeah. Fair. This is maybe the only time I'll condone calling the cops or the use of the justice system.

[wanderlusttitania]

The only time...

[...uh]

Why do you say that?

[yourattention]

Uh......... 'cause all cops are bastards? Like. They suck. They can't even do their job without killing someone "accidentally."

[He barely keeps himself from making the actual airquotes.]

[wanderlusttitania]

[That's-]

That seems a strange observation to make about the police. They are there to protect us, after all.