itscurtains | Week Six

Entry tags:

act 3,
week 6

Week Six

[Last week, in It's Curtains, the weather changed, and with it your fortune in Dads. Discord took Salieri out - or perhaps Salieri took Discord out - and left the survivors with that much less impulse control. Nonetheless, a visit from a new friend might have provided a little bit of much-needed hope?

On Sunday morning, you'll find that the other side of the second floor has opened up - as well as the actual intended path to reach the roof garden. You can finally stop climbing up that rope every time you want to have a picnic or secret lover's rendezvous!

Outside, the weather seems to have calmed down. It's sunny again, with rather a lot of clouds. Though it's warm, the atmosphere seems very...still.]

Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday

(( Be sure to submit your memory regain and your AC for this week! As always, Hester's office hours and the merch booth remain available. ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Aaaaand here's lesbian #4

Oh no. Oh no no no no. God it was just- it was just yesterday, Spongebob asking her in the feverish haze if Salieri and Discord would be proud of him. This is- no, this can't...]

Spongebob! Why-

Hi Elsa...

[His head rolls lazily to meet her eyes.]

Wha's up?

[There's just. So many feelings right now. Elsa wants to cry with utter relief that he and Farrah are both alive, but everything inside of her is twisting in a mass of anger and frustration and an overwhelming sense of worry. Spongebob... he's like everyone's brother here. If anything happened to him...]

H-Hey...

[She tries to keep her voice even, but fails absolutely miserably.]

What were you doing in that thing?

[He's silent, a strange feeling of guilt, sadness, and shame washes over him as he looks away from Elsa.]

Farrah and I wanted to see our dads again.

[.... Oh. Oh, that. Just makes it feel like her stomach drops to her feet.]

You... you were trying to die?

...

I guess I was, wasn't I?

[Wow hearing it come from another person, a person who loves and worries about him.

Really makes him realize how fucked up this was.]

Spongebob...

[Elsa reaches out, hands ever-so-softly resting on his shoulders. She's trying not to jostle any of his injuries, but she just. She needs that contact. To keep herself grounded as much as she needs to offer him some sort of comfort.]

Why?

[Tears well up in his eyes as he starts talking.]

F...Farrah and I were talking, how about how she wanted to end it. A-and she said nothing I could help. And I was thinking about how much of a disappointment I was and how I missed my dads and how I'm not needed--

[Oh god he's babbling now, he takes a moment to catch his breath and he swallows before he continues.]

I just thought... Maybe if we went together we wouldn't have to worry about the Wizard making you do the trial and wonder what happened. There wouldn't have been any mystery as to what happened or anyone to execute.

[Elsa lets him ramble. She knows how important it is to get all of this out - conceal, don't feel ruined her life and did damage that was almost irreparable to her heart and mind. Even so, it doesn't make it any easier to hear Spongebob of all people talking like this.]

But that... it wouldn't solve anything. He'd just keep throwing motives and threats at us, over and over, until none of us remained.

[And then what would happen after? Would the last one standing be left alone? Would they have nobody but the Wizard for company until he gave up and abandoned them?]

Spongebob, I... I understand. [There's something heavy lacing through those words. It's not just sympathy; her understanding runs deep.] Believe me, I understand thinking that maybe people would be better off without you. That they have a better chance at life without you holding them back. But those thoughts? They're... they're not you. They're a poison, twisting your thoughts into ones that really aren't your own.

[And yet, that poison can speak in one's voice so well that it's hard to tell what thoughts are your own or not...]

I know it's hard to accept hearing this from others, when that voice inside of you is so loud and consuming, but we really do love you, Spongebob. You've done so much for us, and nothing you could do could ever disappoint us.

[Tragically, Elsa, Spongebob has a lot of issues about feeling needed. That part is hardly new

Spongebob listens instantly, with tears in his eyes. He's actually quiet, only interrupting once to meekly state:]

I was just scared that I would be the last one remaining

[But when she says that she loves him, that they all love him, that they could never disappoint them, even after what he just did, the tears star falling. Heavily. He pulls Elsa into a hug with his good arm and sobs loudly into her shoulder.]

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

[Elsa doesn't fight the hug at all. As soon as he's close enough, her arms curl around him in return and holds him tightly as he cries. Elsa is, above all other things, a big sister, and though Anna will always be her number one sister, she's found those feelings extended to the others trapped here more and more as the weeks go on.

So she'll just sit there with him, rubbing Spongebob's back as she lets him cry it all out.]

It's okay, it's okay...

[As she gently rocks back and forth, trying to calm him as he cries, Elsa hums.]

"Come stop your crying, it'll be all right
just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from all around you
I will be here, don't you cry"

[The gentle singing slowly calms Spongebob down, as his sobbing goes from hysterical to quiet and hiccupping cries.]

I really love you guys. I love you so much.

[Good, good... Elsa manages to smile through her own tears, reaching up to gently ruffle his hair.]

I feel the same way. It's like... how I feel about my sister back home. Like you're family.

[The gesture continues to calm him as he hiccups quietly.]

Yeah, I'm so happy that I met you all. You've been a great family and I love you guys more than the entire ocean.

'M sorry for forgetting that.

More than the whole ocean? That's a truly awe-inspiring amount of love.

[Elsa tries to laugh, but the sound just sort of... fades, as she mulls over his words, and her own thoughts.]

You don't need to apologize for forgetting that. Sometimes... sometimes, the poisonous voice in your head just screams louder and harsher than any of your own thoughts. It makes you believe that what it wants is what you want.

[There's a pause.]

... I've had those thoughts too. For most of my life.

But... but you're so strong, Elsa. I... I woulda never though someone like you would...

[Oh god his head hurts so much it's hard to think. He's just going to put his head in his hands for a bit.

When I was growing up, from the time I was eight until I was twenty-one, I believed I was a monster.

[It's difficult to talk about. Even though she feels like a completely different person from three years ago, in the best possible way... it's tough, remembering that.]

For all that time, I thought I was only a burden on my family. That everything I did, my very presence, caused them problems. I thought, many times, that if I didn't exist, or if wasn't there... that they'd be happier. I thought if I got rid of the monster, than all their problems would go away, and my sister could live the life she deserved.

[Elsa's hands fist tightly into her skirt, and for the first time in three years, she wished she had her gloves. That way, she wouldn't have to see the long since faded lines on her hands that she knows are still there.]

I didn't think I deserved to keep on living.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Week Six

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw suicide attempt

cw suicide discussion

cw suicide discussion

cw suicide discussion

cw suicide discussion

cw suicide discussion

cw suicide discussion

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw: suicide talk, past suicidal ideation, past self-harm