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stagemanagers) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
itscurtains2020-07-19 11:27 am
stagemanagers) wrote in itscurtains2020-07-19 11:27 am
week 4
[Another week, and two more dead. King Richard and Red are both gone, and once again, it was through nothing more than an accident in the heat of the moment. Maybe if you all stay calm and collected, nothing bad will happen again?
Well, maybe not.
When you wake on Sunday, you'll find that you've recovered another one of those memories - or had another dream, if you still wanna be in denial about it. The grounds remain as they are, but this time, the door blocking the stairwell has been unsealed. You can now venture up to the second floor! This is the second time that's happened; it's almost as if you get more space every time someone dies. Or maybe the whole place just seems quieter.]
Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday
(( Welcome to Week 4! Please remember to submit your AC and your memory regains, as well as your coins! You can also still contact the Phantom. ))
Well, maybe not.
When you wake on Sunday, you'll find that you've recovered another one of those memories - or had another dream, if you still wanna be in denial about it. The grounds remain as they are, but this time, the door blocking the stairwell has been unsealed. You can now venture up to the second floor! This is the second time that's happened; it's almost as if you get more space every time someone dies. Or maybe the whole place just seems quieter.]
(( Welcome to Week 4! Please remember to submit your AC and your memory regains, as well as your coins! You can also still contact the Phantom. ))
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Still, she sighs and sits down on her bed, bouncing slightly up and down with the way she basically flops down.]
It's going to have to happen eventually, so I don't want to put it off longer.
[Hit her, Stephen.]
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He's quiet for a moment, then moves over to sit down next to her - assuming there's room. If not, he'll just stand by her, and either way, he'll reach to touch her shoulder.]
I know you just wanted to help him. I don't think you have a mean bone in your entire body. And I don't know if you guys've talked yet, but I just want you to know that I can't blame you for doing what you did.
I can't even blame you for not talking about your idea with someone else, first. This is a scary place. [God knows he's scared.] And I don't think you knew about the SQUIP counting, either. Did you?
cw for suicidal ideation because apparently we're here now
It doesn't come yet, but she knows that doesn't mean much.]
It wasn't just to help him. I... I wanted a friend, too. I felt like when we talked the first time? That was a connection I, I hadn't had before? And I wanted to find out what it was. But we came here, and he kept pushing me away, and I know it was probably to protect me, but... I wanted him back to normal. For himself, and for my own stupid idea of what he is to me.
[She's already rambling, she knows, and she hasn't gotten into the worst of it.]
We both... we both talked, and I know a lot more than I did before. Before, I was... I was working with Angus and Red. They wanted to help me help Jeremy, by making something like the Mountain Dew to turn it off. So I did have help, until... [She swallows hard around a lump in her throat.]
Angus and I tried to get Jeremy to drink what we had made, and that's when he mentioned the, the SQUIP counted. I stopped right away, I mean, I didn't want Angus to get hurt, but after that I was just... I didn't know what else to do. It was the one thing I thought I could actually fix and it wasn't going to work, and I was so scared of what, what the point of it all was? Like...
[Her voice is so uncharacteristically quiet, though still filled with far too much emotion for such a young adult.]
Like what worth am I in a world that can't even see me smile, who won't smile back? Who... h-hate me for trying to smile, because I don't have anything else to offer?
So, so when I got the soda from the merch booth... I, I thought that was what I was worth. I was worth saving Jeremy. I don't know why, but I wasn't afraid of getting caught, or punished. I had promised I'd help so many people, and I just wanted to fulfill one of those! Just one!
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So very gently;]
Did you think about what we would have had to gone through, if we had to vote for you?
[He's not trying to seem like he's scolding her. He knows, more or less from experience, how...self-centered, for lack of a better word, grief can be. The memories are still very, very fresh.]
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I thought... I thought this would be the best case scenario. Jeremy would be okay, you'd all be o-okay, and I would... at least leave a mark somewhere.
[If she was the culprit, for once, attention would be on her, and then all those feelings no one ever cared about would be on display. And that's selfish to think too, but it still tempted her, just a bit.]
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[He touches her chin with his other hand, trying to steer her to look at him. The bits of tears in his own eyes.]
You're going to make more marks than you can even think about. You just have to give yourself the chance.
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I, I hope so. But that's all I have right now. And it's hard to have so little.
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[He swallows, releasing her face, and- brushing some of her hair back]
I've already had one daughter die. Then Red- she reminded me so much of Maddie, it scared me. And I look at you and Riley and I see what she could have been- please, please don't make me have to go through it again.
[Oh. Those are definitely tears.]
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[To have that secret suddenly dropped in her lap is disorienting, sending her grief all askew. She's not sure whether to mourn Jeremy, mourn Maddie, or mourn the death of her belief that she would never kill. It's too much... especially to consider the grief that she almost put Stephen through.
She holds back her tears, though. At least, she does until she props herself up higher on her knees, getting just a bit of height on Stephen, so she can wrap her arms around his shoulders and lean her head against his.]
I won't. I'm so sorry, Stephen. I won't let you go through that again.
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Dear daughter
Hold your head up high
There's a world outside
That's passing by
Dear daughter
Never lose yourself
Remember that
You're like nobody else
[...and of course it's song that comes out.]
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She should pull away, keep him at arm's reach, not confuse him with the parents she misses so dearly back home... but she doesn't want to do that. She wouldn't hurt Stephen like that, nor herself.
She doesn't like labels, but... she'll add one here, if it will help them both cope.]
Life throws you in
To the unknown
And you feel like you're
Out there all alone...
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These are words that every girl
Should have a chance to hear-
[Just in case her parents haven't told her. And if they have? A reminder.]
'There will be love, there will be pain
There will be hope, there will be fear
And through it all year after year
Stand or fall, I will be right here for you'
[He cracks a smile, then, opening his eyes and looking at her. Pulling away just slightly - just enough to establish that no, he's not her father, but-]
I hope your Mom and Dad know just how brightly you shine.
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I think they know. I mean, they've never seen me in a situation like this, but they do love me. I think they know how bright I am... maybe think I'm too bright.
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No such thing as too bright. Not in a place like this, anyway.
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[She's... just a little sad about home not being somewhere Stephen will be, and so her smile is more hesitant.]
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