OVERTURE

[stagemanagers]

You wake up, and realize you don’t remember how you got here.

This bed is soft and warm, but it’s certainly not yours. And the room is unfamiliar - unless perhaps you’re an actor, seeing as it looks almost exactly like every dressing room in the world. It's not quite large enough to fit the bed and trunk comfortably alongside the vanity, but it what it lacks in open space, it makes up for in coziness. This could be something you’ve seen in a movie, or dreamed about experiencing one day. But whatever the case, you aren’t supposed to be here.

There’s a silver key resting on your vanity, along with a thin program booklet. The cover - where the name of the show would usually be - is blank, but if you flip through it, you’ll find some startlingly familiar information. Maybe a few familiar faces as well…

The hallway outside is narrow and poorly-lit, lined with star-studded doors. But if you make your way past them and out into the lobby, you’ll find something entirely different: an elegant, refined opera house. Crystal chandeliers glitter overhead, and the red carpet is perfect for putting on a show. A large clock on the northern wall marks the time, though with the windows shuttered and locked it's difficult to tell whether it's morning or night. There’s also some framed information pinned up that you might find helpful. If you explore further into the adjoining wings, in fact, you'll see there's an identical copy in every room.

There’s also two sets of double-doors in the lobby: one leading back the way you came, deeper into the Opera House, and one leading out. For the moment, neither of them will open.

It looks like you’re stuck. But hey - at least you aren’t alone.

Comments

[dontfeedplants]

[Seymour tenses. Oh god he's kind of scared to find out what would happen if he said "yes".]

No?

[Please don't hurt him.]

[catliketread]

See! I am the Pirate King, not some pretentious actor pretending to be a pirate king. This is a role one simply cannot fake! It is my role, and mine alone! Only I am capable of leading my men to glory on the high seas!

[He clenches a fist and looks dramatically into the distance. If only he was actually on a ship and the wind could blow at this exact moment. Oh well. The point is that he is definitely not an actor!!]

[dontfeedplants]

[Seymour is already fearing for his life.]

Right, and I'm sure you're an amazing pirate?

[catliketread]

Of course! My ship is crewed by incredible pirates! We are... the pirates of Penzance!

[DON'T NAMEDROP THE TITLE IN THE INTRO LOG]

[dontfeedplants]

[I am ashamed that there's no real good way to title drop Little Shop of Horrors and not have it be clunky as heck.]

That sounds great?

So, um, is your name really "The Pirate King"?

[catliketread]

[WHO KNOWS, YOU MIGHT GET THE OPPORTUNITY SOMEDAY]

It's my title! It's my being! I am the Pirate King!

[and that's not really an answer]

[dontfeedplants]

Oh... Well, I'm Seymour.

[Tentively offers his hand to shake?]

[catliketread]

Seymour! That's a good name, I like it!

[And he seizes Seymour's hand in a firm grip and shakes it.]

Try not to run into anyone or anything else, boy! 'Twould be a shame if something were to happen to your spectacles!

[then you wouldn't be able to see and that's terrible]

[dontfeedplants]

[Seymour blinks and absentmindedly touches his glasses with his free hand.]

Why do you care?

[Perhaps he could have worded that better, but his tone seems more confused than annoyed by The Pirate King's concern.]

[catliketread]

[...Huh.]

Your eyesight is very important! You were distracted by the beauty of this place, were you not? To lose your sight would be dreadful! Of course that's assuming you actually will break your spectacles if you run into something or someone, which is not necessarily the case.

[dontfeedplants]

I know that; it's just that you just met me. Why would you care if I lost my eyesight?

[catliketread]

...Because losing one's eyesight is a terrible thing?

[The ????? is probably very obvious. Sure, he's a pirate, but he (and his crew) are caring pirates! Except for when they're not. But it's not like this kid has given him any reason to want to sink his ship and/or kill him!!]

[dontfeedplants]

[Seymour is going to share that ??? with you but for different reasons.]

But I'm a nobody. A nobody you just met.

[catliketread]

That's not true at all! You're Seymour, you're not a nobody!

[...this makes perfect sense in his head, alright.]

[dontfeedplants]

[Judging by the look on his face, that is the first time anyone has ever told him that he wasn't a nobody. Although that first part still didn't make much sense.]

You... you're joking, right?

[catliketread]

Of course I'm not joking! Do you truly think so little of yourself that your name holds no meaning? Come now, that simply won't do! No one can make you into someone - you have to seize that for yourself! You're Seymour! Live up to the name you've been given and make something for yourself!

[He poses dramatically again, because of course he does. This is absolutely inspiring and wonderful and not at all dumb!!]

[dontfeedplants]

[He really doesn't get the name thing, but he does feel touched by the sentiment.]

I guess there's Audrey II. It's not much but that little plant has been giving me luck lately.

[He suddenly looks really horrified.]

Oh my god it better not die on me while I'm here.

[catliketread]

Do you have anyone who will take care of your plant while you're here?

[You know, friends, family, parents...]

[dontfeedplants]

I guess there's Audrey and Mr. Mushnik, but the plant has a very... finicky diet.

M-maybe if we're going to be here awhile whoever invited us here could bring Audrey II for me.

[Seymour that is absolutely the worst idea in the world.]

[catliketread]

[YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY DO IT]

Perhaps our host - or hostess - will be kind enough to do that for you! I've never owned a plant before, but if it's that important to you then surely an argument can be made to bring it here!

[just argue with the mastermind JUST DO IT]

[dontfeedplants]

[PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY DIE, PIRATE KING.]

I-It's a pretty important plant to me. I don't want it to just die on me.

[catliketread]

[NAAAAAAAHHHHH PROBABLY NOT]

All the more reason to ask for it to be brought here! Or at least taken care of in your absence, though I'm sure you would feel better if it was here.

[dontfeedplants]

I would feel better if Twoey was here, as I said only I know how to properly take care of it. I don't think they could take care of it like I can.

[catliketread]

Twoey is another of your plants? Are you a botanist?

[dontfeedplants]

S-sorry, Twoey is what I call Audrey II sometimes. I'm just a florist.

[He takes out his booklet and shows The Pirate King his profile, pointing to the plant in it.]

But it's a really neat plant. I don't know exactly what kind of breed it is, though. I think it's some strange mutation of the venus flytrap.