And you can't pull me down

[musacal]

[ There's a groundhog anxiously pacing around the halls when suddenly everyone appears in the lobby and she's rushing up after all the initial reactions. ]

Wh... What happened?!

[ And where the FUCK is Maya UHHHHH ]


(ooc: y'all can respond to this however you want and make any generic top levels you need!)

Comments

[mcfife]

[Shortly after finding Maya, Angus runs into the middle of the cornfield to s c r e a m. It's the sound of someone with very powerful lungs with too many pent-up feelings from thebday, but the yelling is melodic, like Angus is controlling the pitch despite the noise mainly being a form of carthasis. Those are some...high notes he is hitting.

There's a heavy thumping following the yelling, with quieter, lower growls trailing for several minutes.

Once Angus is tired out and ready to speak to people again, he wanders up to the library, keeping his head up and nodding like everything is alright when he passes the others. He has a small bouquet of thistles in his hand as he picks out a book on handicrafts and takes a seat to build a flower crown out of his collection. It looked easy, based on his eyewitness accounts of peasants constructing them, but after a few tries and many fallen petals, he has only managed to link 3 flowers successfully.

It's not frustrating. It's tiring. But it's something to focus on. Elle needs to know his feelings on her death one way to another. She died crying, asking Maya if the others would hate her, and instead of getting help, instead of telling her she was loved, she-

Eventually, he'll consider that a lost cause and return to cafeteria to get food for himself and the lizards. It's been a long day, and he grows hungry. Unfortunately, his plan for a calm afternoon is ruined upon the discovery of a stack of letters on one of the tables.

Angus sits hunched over one of the tables reading the one address to him, leaving the rest in their envelops., his mouth trembling and failing to keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks. Bruiser sits on the chair beside him, pawing at him and whining when he doesn't move. Angus sits back and covers his eyes with a hand. He tries to breathe.]

Library

[employeeoftheyear]

[Eventually, Spongebob leaves Maya’s side to find Angus. Deep down, he gets the feeling that his presence wouldn’t be wanted. He fears that Angus would ignore him, or worse, yell at him.

But he doesn’t care, he’s still family and he’s still hurting.

He sits across from him, giving Angus a soft look and pointing to the crown he’s making. ]

Do you want help with that?

[mcfife]

[After getting his NOOOOs out of his system, Angus doesn't have the energy to fight Spongebob. One of the flowers slips out of his chain and glides across the table, onto the floor.]

Do you know how to make one?

[He pushes the pile of thistles to Spongebob without looking at him. He can focus on his own portion of the chain.]

[employeeoftheyear]

Of course! I used to make them all the time at home.

[Well this is a good start! He starts on his own portion, in silence.

After a minute, he sighs and looks up at Angus.]

Hey Angus, I wanted to apologize for yelling at you earlier today. I know I was projecting myself onto this case after the stunt I did on Wednesday, but I shouldn’t have taken out on you.

You’re allowed to be angry, about everything. But I promise I’ll still be here for you.

[mcfife]

[Angus' thumbs slip. He can't be angry at Spongebob anymore. He's not angry for what he tried to do to himself and Farrah; they're alive. That's what's matters in the end.

But he's apologizing, so he may as well may as well reciprocate the conversation.]

I hope that when I killed Spinel under the influence of the Knife of Evil, everyone was angry at me. I took one of the kindest people away from them. They couldn't have let her death mean nothing. [He doesn't remember the trial, but if there was nothing of his original self left, what else could they do but hate him?] I don't blame you for what happened. I wanted something to come out of their deaths, that they hadn't died for nothing.

cafeteria

[barberic]

[Benjamin was originally coming to the kitchen to clean up the empty teacup he'd taken Maya, but the minute he steps in he hears Bruiser whining, and sees Angus sitting there, and he feels...

She was his reason and his life,
And she was beautiful...

He sets the teacup on the first available table and goes over to Angus, scooping up Bruiser and taking his chair with the little dog settled in his lap, reaching over and putting his hand on the back of Angus' chair.]

I... God, Angus...

I know. I know what you're feeling.

cw suicide discussion

[mcfife]

[The tears are wiped away with a sleeve, but they are quickly replaced.]

She wasn't...it wasn't because of her memory...

[He chokes and - smiles? - it's a relaxed expression of relief. He didn't fail her, she didn't die miserable, she wanted to help--]

Elle thought she could end this! She wanted to save us at the cost of her life, but she did not have to... [Their last kiss. She was so happy. She knew that he would be alone the next day. And here is he, missing three people he loved.]

cw suicide discussion

[barberic]

[Neither God nor man could judge Angus for his tears right now, and Heaven knows Benjamin has shed enough to float an ark.

What Angus says makes him freeze, his blood going cold. He had missed Maya's explanations, her excuses, like all sound and conversation was occurring far above him and he was sinking ever deeper underwater.

Said she took the poison, she did-

Benjamin's gaze goes distant and he says nothing for a moment, his grip tightening on the back of Angus' chair.

Poor thing! Poison left her weak in the head-

It's Bruiser, licking his fingers, that snaps him back to the present.]

She was a brave woman, then, as well as a foolish one. We would have found a way to manage without sacrifice.

[Does he mean that? He isn't sure. But then, he's not fully present anymore, either.]

...Perhaps it was a kindness, what happened after. If she had already taken them.

cw suicide discussion

[mcfife]

[Angus doesn't notice how long Benjamin stands there, being busy wiping away his tears to clear his throat. Elle was selfless, but foolish. Why did she think she could sacrifice herself for this? Did she not believe that they could find a way to undo the spell?]

...Why wasn't I with her? [Each week, he wonders what he could have done differently. Each week, he considers his worries unnecessary. Peregrine told him that he could not fix everything alone, but Elle trusted him. She would listen to him.] How long does nightshade take to kill someone? What if I could have saved her?

[He thought nothing of her disappearance last night. They didn't sleep in the same bed all of the time. Everything would always be alright, like it always was. They were there for each other, supporting their partner through their low points, never abandoning each other.

Elle wanted a fairy tale ending. Why couldn't Angus have his?]

Once my life was plain and clear
I recall
Once my ignorance was bliss
Nightfall came
Like a serpent's kiss
To my troubled mind

Why my God
Have you abandoned me
In my sobriety
Behind the old facade
I'm your bewildered child
So take me cross the river wide

Binding promises were made
On my soul
Grand illusions lead astray
Ice cold winds swept my heart away
Bring me back to you

Cafeteria

[defyingfrigidity]

[Elsa feels... listless, after everything. It's not the hollow, pained emptiness she's felt after the past few trials, but it's a feeling of what now? She lost one of her best friends. He was one of the best of them - so good and optimistic, one of the bright lights in the ever encroaching darkness. How... how is it fair, to keep going when the ones who deserved to escape here the most are gone?

She sits heavily at the table Angus has claimed. She sees the way he shakes, his face twisting in a way that Elsa knows very well. She lets out a shaky breath, leaning just a little closer.]

It's... it's okay to cry, you know.

[mcfife]

[He'll keep crying, clutching Elle's letter to his chest. That ring was a gift, he didn't know that she had reciprocated long before he asked. The concessions stand gave him so many, as if telling him that they were destined to be together, but he didn't want to take this so quickly. She had to finish her law training, he had to return to Fife-

What difference would that have made? She knew he loved her and died regardless. It would have only resulted in more heartbreak.

Angus hiccups.]

[defyingfrigidity]

[Elsa and Angus aren't the closest in their little trauma-forged family, but... he's still important. It still hurts, to see the man cry. So Elsa reaches out, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing tightly. Just to give him a point of contact, the pressure of comfort that she hopes get through to him.]

I know... nothing I nor anyone else here can say will do much to help, and it might not be too much of a comfort when everything is still so raw. But... a part of her love, and her heart, will always live on inside of you. Her memory will never truly be gone, so long as you think of her often.

[mcfife]

[Some of his anguish is pulled away through that hand. He looks down at his letter, at Woods-McFife. Part of him will stay with her in death.]

I don't want to forget her. After everything she has done for me, I cannot do that to her.

[He will go back to Fife, rejoin the survivors from the opera house...and she won't be there with him.]

Orpheus and Eurydice. We can't forget them either.

[brokeforgood]

[Farrah’s not nearly responsible enough to be trusted with making tea—- so when she finds Angus sitting at the cafeteria, looking like that, she does the next best thing.

She pours him a mug of tap water in the kitchen. And sets it down beside him.

Hey, she tried, okay?]

[mcfife]

[Someone here has forgotten to rehydrate all day, so Farrah's work is greatly appreciated. As Angus takes a sip, he gestures at the unopened envelopes. One of them is for you, Farrah.]

[brokeforgood]

[Farrah’s quiet, in a way that probably says something about character growth, and instead of sitting on top of the table like she normally does, she takes a seat on one of the little cafeteria-stools attached to the table. It makes it easier for her to lean over just so, and tilt her head against Angus’ arm. Given the situation, it’s probably more appropriate to let him lean on her a little—- but with his size, that’s just. Not going to happen.

She finds the envelope with her name, and opens it, silently, and begins to read.

It doesn’t take long for her heart to crumble.

All she’d wanted, during the final year of her life, was to be a good sister. To get a grip on what a family really felt like. And here, she’d learnt it. Only to have it ripped away. She closes her eyes, and just sits there with Angus.]

[mcfife]

[At least Farrah is still here. At least she can tease him, talk to him about strange religious practices, talk to him about what she got up to in school, what Riley had done. At least she didn't lose another father. At least Angus isn't completely alone.

The two have lost so many this week. They lost the brightest of their group, and their tears won't bring them back.

Regardless, Angus continues to read his letter over and over again, imagining Elle's voice speaking those words, sitting next to him, hugging him, her perfume on his shoulders. He lets Farrah lean against him instead. He supports her. Her weight is enough comfort.]

Cafeteria

[sugarlumps]

[For once, LSP doesn't say anything. She just sits opposite him.]

[...she'll slide a piece of pocket bacon over to Bruiser, he's earned it, this has been a bad day for him too.]

[mcfife]

[Bruiser has a nice treat, this will make up for the temporary disappearance of his mom.

Angus wipes his face and slides over a letter address to LSP]

[sugarlumps]

Uh, what's-

[Taking the letter, reading it.]

[Oh.]

[Oh.]

[Yeah give her a minute here Angus, she's just gross crying.]

[mcfife]

[Two royals, next in line to their throne, sobbing their eyes out over these letters. Angus screamed his heart out, but now it's time to shed his tears.

Elle loved them. Loved them too much.]

cafeteria

[feudalladyshandmaid]

[Cassandra had been moving slowly ever since the trial, out of exhaustion and just. Listlessness.

She's never seen Angus like this. The image of the prince happily swinging his hammer to a jaunty tune was still at the forefront of Cass's mind, but... Now it was being replaced. The sad man sitting before her, too tired to even stop the shedding of tears. As she slides into a seat at the table, she stumbles over what to even say.]

...I'm sorry. About Elle. She was important, wasn't she?

[mcfife]

[He nods. She had become more important as time went by, his comfort each week. They understood each other from the moment they met, endured everything together and now she was gone. He left for bed, thinking she would follow.]

...She said yes.

[feudalladyshandmaid]

...Oh.

[Does she need to say more? Why, she had a person just like that, still standing in the room. And for that, Cass would be silently grateful.]

[mcfife]

[He waited too long. If he hadn't held back, waiting for the perfect time, would she still be with him? Would she decide that living was better than sacrificing herself?

He doesn't know. She seemed so happy when they were together.]

She's alone. With our friends, but I'm not with her.