And I'll Be With You When You Dream

[violentenvies]

[It's Sunday night! Boy, today sure has been a day, hasn't it?? Memories returned, Father's Day Gifts given, and Benjamin sure had a Time, didn't he?

Looks like it's time to find ways to cope.

Thus, the bed frames from Broadhurst dorm are being worked on being taken apart by Varian while the mattresses are becoming The New Floor.

Additionally, there's plenty to eat and drink, what with the hot pot provided by Rina, cookies that might just taste a bit burnt from Farrah, apples from Orpheus, more delicious potatoes from Maya, as well as sandwiches by Cassandra. There is also quite the variety of pie, from caramel, to bittersweet chocolate and strawberries, and several other varieties from the vending machine. Finally, there's popcorn brought in by Spongebob. If someone wants a drink, there is some delicious hot cocoa, provided by Elsa, as well as the tea brought in by Discord. There's also a variety of drinks from the vending machines.

Everyone's invited of course. There are a variety of games happening, and there's even a TV that's been wheeled down from the Library. So bring your pajamas, whatever they happen to be, and settle in for a sleepover!]

Comments

[barberic]

[The idea of food faintly makes his stomach turn, but he doesn't say it.

He doesn't say much of anything, at all, as she talks to him, letting her voice wash over him and calm his frayed nerves. For the first time since he woke up on the kitchen floor, he's able to close his eyes without worrying that he'll be on his cold hard bunk in the Hyde Park Barracks.]

Mm. [It isn't much of an answer, but... He sounds proud of her. A small, contented smile slowly starts to turn up the corner of his mouth.] Something for me to look forward to.

[If he is to wake up, in Hell or in Sydney (for what little difference there is between them), then this is a pleasant enough dream to die in.]

[brokeforgood]

Yeah. Salieri said he was proud—- so that’s something. I must not be too bad, if that’s the case. Something to look forward to. [She glances over at him, carefully eyeing him for any signs of distress. He seems different, now, snd she finds herself hoping that he feels better soon, so he can hear her play. She’ll have to continue to practice and learn, so she’ll be even better when he’s ready.]

... Here. [She lifts the stuffed cow off her lap, and gently sets it on his.]

She can keep you company, too.

[barberic]

[He's plenty distressed - despite spending most of his day in bed, the bruises around his eyes are as black as if he hadn't slept at all - but none of it is acute.

His breath hitches and his eyes start open when she places the stuffed cow on his lap. He lifts a hand and cups its head in his palm, his thumb rubbing over the milky white fur as if he's forgotten how to handle soft things. A knot rises in his throat, and he barely manages to croak:]

Thank you...

[brokeforgood]

[She’s frightened for a moment, when his breath hitches. Not of him, of course not, because even though he looks like complete shit, he’s still Ben. It’s a more self absorbed fear. That she’s made the wrong move, that she’s made it worse, that maybe he hates her now——

But he thanks her, and she doesn’t fear for herself anymore. Just for him. ]

You’re welcome. She’s really soft, and a good friend. [She reaches out, to stroke Milky White, and when her hand bumps against his, small and unsure, she pats his hand gently.]

She’s been really good to have, when I wake up from nightmares. But tonight, I’ll have everyone else, so... She can watch over you, tonight.

[barberic]

[Her hand is so small, and when it brushes his, his heart seizes in fear, like she'll see through him, self-conscious of every little change that he had before just chalked up to the missing years, as if he doesn't look exactly the same to the others as he did the first day he woke up here.

It's a strange feeling, being disoriented in one's own body.]

I hope she's ready, she has quite a job ahead of her.

[His voice is still rough with unshed tears, but... that's a joke? Or a statement of fact??]

[brokeforgood]

She is. [She takes it as a joke— another victory for Farrah. Farrah’s hand lingers on his, just for a few seconds. Then she moves it back to pet the plush cow.]

And—- if she’s not enough, you can just knock on the wall, and one of us will hear you. Me, or da— [She catches herself just in time.] — Or Salieri.

[barberic]

[Despite her save, he catches it, though he doesn't say anything.

He senses she might be getting ready to leave, and the thought makes his grip on the stuffed cow tighten just slightly, reluctant to be alone. But she deserves to have fun with the other kids, not be stuck keeping him company.]

I will. [He won't.]

Is she yours? From when you were a little girl?

[brokeforgood]

No. She came out of the weird machine in the cafeteria. One of the better things.

I don’t have too many things from when I was a little girl, back home. I moved a lot. And I just moved in with a new step-parent and step-sister a few years ago, so... it was like a brand new life. [A brand new life. One that feels like a whole lifetime ago. But she won’t dwell on that now.]

[barberic]

I'm sorry.

[Even though divorce is legal, it's far more common in the 1800s for remarriage to happen after the death of a parent.

Or, say, the exile of one.]

Is your step...parent a good person, at least? Good to you?

[brokeforgood]

I guess. I go to a pretty expensive private school now, so that’s something.

My parents have never really been... hands on. [She purses her lips. She hasn’t talked too much about her parents here.] I guess I kind of thought all adults were like that. Like when you’re a kid, you’re just kind of this ... annoying pest that needs to be better. An irritation.

It’s really weird to have adults around here that aren’t like that. No matter how much I tried to get on Salieri’s nerves, he didn’t get mad. And after a while— I didn’t want to get on his nerves. I wanted to make him happy. And Bal... he found me super wasted, laying under the bleachers. He didn’t even yell at me! He... took care of me.

[barberic]

[Of all the things that light a spark in him, the idea of this little girl - of any little girl, but especially Farrah - feeling like a nuisance?

Yeah, that'll do it.

He doesn't say anything at first, though he looks at her with his undivided attention. But when she's done, he shifts, raising up one arm, blanket included, and wraps his arm and the blanket loosely around her shoulders.]

There are some people who have children for selfish reasons. Or who can't...raise them well, for any number of reasons. But that's not an excuse to ever make a child feel like she's a burden to her parents.

It's not fair that you had to be trapped here, to meet adults who care about you. Your parents are blind not to know what a treasure they have.

[brokeforgood]

[Oh. She hadn’t expected that— she almost feels guilty, for rambling about her own troubles. But she’ll shift when he does, taking the edge of the blanket, and scooting closer to him to make sure they can both stay under it. She even leans against him, extremely gently—- she’s half afraid he’ll break, still. ]

I am a pretty big handful. [She doesn’t fight it any more than that. It’s futile, and she also doesn’t really want to waste time trying to defend them. What’s the point, now?]

It’s messed up, but... I’m glad I’m here. It would have been better, if I learned it while I was alive. But...

If I knew then
What I know now
I would have looked within and let love in somehow

[barberic]

[Despite everything, he's physically sturdy to lean against. Perhaps sturdier, as if an iron core has been forged inside of him. When she settles in closer, fitting herself against his side as if she belongs there, something within him inches slightly back to...

Well. The man he was yesterday. The man he was fifteen years ago.

He looks straight ahead for a moment, fighting back the tears that come to his throat - wishing he could hold his Johanna like he was holding Farrah now, thankful that he can hold Farrah, when she needs him.]

You are alive. Here. Now.

[He turns his head to her and presses a kiss to the crown of her head.]

You have all the time in the world
Time enough for life to unfold
All the precious things life has in store...

[brokeforgood]

[He is sturdy— and she allows herself to lean on him. It feels a little ridiculous, to be seeking comfort and security from a man in such a state. She knows that she should be the one supporting him. But she can’t help but feel the same thing she feels when she’s wrapped in Salieri’s arms.

Valued. Hopeful. Safe.

She doesn’t shy away from the kiss to the top of her head or the song- instead she snuggles in more, petting Milky White with one hand.]

We both are.

[barberic]

[He shakes his head. A life without Lucy and Johanna? He might as well be dead.

But she won't accept that as an answer. And he doesn't have the strength to argue with her, so he just sits there with his arm around her, his thumb rubbing back and forth against her shoulder.]

[brokeforgood]

[Farrah will remember that.

But right now, she’s both content and comfortable, and he’s beside her. Safe. Solid. Real.

She doesn’t speak a while. It’s almost like she may fall asleep right there—- but then she whispers.]

You’re a really good dad.

[barberic]

[He seems like he may also be on the verge of some kind of rest (not sleep, he doubts sleep will come for a long while), but then she whispers, and he sucks in a breath, seized by a knot tight in his throat.]

Thank you.

[His breath is tight, lighter and more raw than just a whisper, barely any voice beyond his mouth forming the words.

He holds her tighter and buries his face in her hair for a moment, then speaks, a little stronger.]

I'd be proud to call you my daughter. Anyone who wouldn't be is a madman.

[brokeforgood]

[It’s not the type of thing to laugh at, but a tiny laugh does erupt from her body. It’s a sentimental moment, sure, and her entire heart feels warm. And more importantly, she feels safe.

But compared to the life she’s lived so far—- having so many others that care about her is kind of crazy. It’s not that Farrah’s parents were monsters or anything. But Farrah was never a priority. There was work to do, new significant others to charm, or exciting new adventures to chase. She’s never been the kind of daughter either of them wanted, and between that and high school and hormones and the fall—- she had become a hopeless case. A loser girl. That no one could, or ever would understand. Teachers dismissed her as the problem child. Strangers knew her as the girl that fell. To have friends is a marvel—- but to have an adult be invested in her? To have... multiple adults in her life believe not only that she can be good, but that she is good, and to have them proud of her?

It's so absurd it's worth laughter. But she won't question it. Her voice is sure, when she speaks. And instead of fighting him, she just...]

Thank you.