itscurtains | week 2

[ It's fine. It's less that he upsets her a lot, it's that for some reason she tends to let down her walls around him. Huh! ]

No, I g-g-get it, I know why w-w-we-- [ Ohhh why does she keep stuttering? Every little slip's a painful reminder, and she pointedly looks away and stomps one foot in frustration. ] Ohh, God!

[ Very enunciated, very pronounced, with her eyes shut tightly: ] I need. To go. If you're alright. I n-need. To take this. To my room.

Riley, wait.

[He reaches out for her, but doesn't out right grab her. He won't hold her in place, force her still if she truly needs to leave. He should feel guilty for inflicting some of this turmoil on her, at least.]

You don't need to leave. You don't need to shoulder this alone. [He pauses, just for a moment.] I won't force you to stay. But as someone who has chosen solitude for most of his life, I have to advise you that loneliness is not always the answer.

[ She's breathing hard and quick. Trying to remember a tongue twister or a saying her speech therapist gave her but only getting a lovely little playback as her hand wraps into the teddy bear so tight she wonders it might tear.

Now is it too late to leave?; I need help; Please just breathe;--

One eye opens a crack. ]

I just. I c-can't- it hasn't been this b-b-bad in years! [ That's...an exaggeration. It was this bad eight months ago. But Riley's not thinking straight right now.

Someone's going to come along. Someone's going to see, and someone's going to laugh, and she can't have that. ] Please. Cairo's n-n-not here to talk me down, s-so- I can't.

You shouldn't be alone. Not like this.

[This time, he doesn't resist the urge to put a hand against Riley's shoulder. He aims to coax her into the room, at least out of the way of any probing eyes. The last thing she needs right now is more attention, more stimulation.]

I can help. Talk you down, if you'd like. [He has zero experience in this matter but it's fine!] It's certainly no replacement for your friend, but...

Your train of thoughts
Keeps on hauling you over a low again
Easy to see for a someone
Whose soul can bleed

[ Riley's tense, that much he can feel. But she doesn't shrug away, more...she's confused. Part of her wants to run. But, she's never been one for physical confrontation. And honestly right now she doesn't have the energy for it.

She can't bring herself to follow the melody. Just to stammer: ] I d-d-don't- I don't l-let anyone else s-see me like this.

[ Inching along into his room, some of the things from the merchandise booth fall from her arms, leaving her with only a tight hold on the teddy bear. It makes her look and feel much like the scared little girl she used to be. ]

Not anym-m-more.

[He brings her in only far enough to close the door behind her. He doesn't let it latch -- there's enough of a crack that she could easily open the door and leave if she felt uncomfortable. It's more for the image of privacy -- there are enough young girls here that it won't be immediately obvious who's crying.

Or, so he hopes.

With Riley at least out of the immediate "public," Ariel turns and grabs the chair from his desk. He sets it in front of her.

Finally, he turns away, back to her crying form.]

There. Now no one can see you.

[ Okay. Out of sight, out of...danger, mostly. Riley takes a few deep, fierce breaths as she sinks to the chair. Her arms are covered in goosebumps and she can't breathe quite right, but this is...familiar, at least.

This isn't going to just go away. But Cairo's not here to hold her hand, or glare away the problem, or anything.

And that... That gets her thinking. She has a hard time focusing on just one place, one thing, but she tries to fix her gaze on Ariel. ]

Why are y-you b-b-being so nice to me? [ Between breaths, it's more a muttered question than anything else. Riley hates hearing herself stutter. It has the effect of turning her enunciation to mush. ]

[He counts the fact that Riley doesn't immediately turn tail and run as a win. She's still a trembling mess, still stumbling over her words and looking more like a frightened deer than the confident girl he'd seen shine through before.

He's not a teenage girl, or even a teenage boy at that. He won't presume to be her friend nor an adult to coddle and scold her. In truth, he doesn't know what that makes him. Just there, he supposes.

Without turning around, holding true to his word, he speaks.]

There is a fire in you, Riley. And I hate to see it so diminished by this place.

[ Her hands run over the bear. It's bigger, and it's softer, but. ...If she closes her eyes, she can almost pretend it's from Coney Island, from Cai. That helps. Even though-

(I'm gonna need your full support tonight, okay? Not like a co-captain exactly, but like a first mate. Can you do that for me?)

She squeezes her eyes shut anyway. ]

I m-mean. The only one who ever h-helped was C-Cai. N-n-not even m-my... [ Her chin skins into the teddy bear's soft fur. That's not something she likes to think about. ] ...N-no one's doing...very well. Right now. Y-you either.

I wish she was here right now, Riley. I know she could do much more for you than I am. [Like this, it's easy to hide the way his fingers fidget with the buttons of his shirt. He's sure she can guess, but he's entirely out of his element.]

It doesn't matter how I am doing, not in this circumstance. [His fingers tighten and loosen against the fabric of his sleeves now.] I've often distracted myself from grief by diving into something else -- focusing on something important to me to keep it from overwhelming me. And right now it's important to me to not see one of my... allies [Again, he struggles with presuming the word friend.] fall apart when I can lend a hand.

I wish she was here too. [ It's not until later that the implications of that will set in for Riley, and she'll feel sick to her stomach, but that's for another breakdown, not this one.

With her eyes closed, she doesn't see how much Ariel's struggling. But, something in his tone reads true? Like...experienced. Experienced with what, with falling the fuck apart? It feels for a moment like she can get some air down her throat. ] F-f-fall apart. [ She sniffles and only now realizes that she's been crying. When did she start? ] ...J-just let me stay here, for awhile? Until it st-st-stops.

Anything you need.

[He starts to turn around when he hears the sniffle, but reminds himself of his promise and remains still. His hands fidget a moment longer, before he steels himself anew. No one would see her like this, and that would include him.]

I have a few things about. Treats and other items from the booth. Feel free to use whatever you need, or ask for anything.

I will be here.

[ A laugh slips out, one that's almost surprised. After a second of hesitation, a second where she wonders if this is Right to say, she- ]

I tried t-to ask. Why us. Why'd h-he bring us. Every l-letter I got back was like- like he was m-m-mocking me. [ A slow, slow breath released. Pretend you aren't here. Pretend you're at home. Pretend nothing in the last year has happened. ] But. He didn't h-hurt anyone else. Not here. S-so. That's something.

[He can't believe that their shared kidnapping has become the easier topic to focus on.]

The letters he sends are cruel and meant to do nothing more than cause despair. He aims to push you to the brink, Riley.

[Everything about this place, from the pamphlets they woke up with, the rules on the wall, and the items in the booth, have all been designed to knock them to their knees. If he weren't the one caught in the situation, he might have been impressed. It was a well designed machine for madness, if nothing else.]

Don't listen to him. Whatever he gives you, good or bad, it's only meant to get you to do what he wants.

I know that! [ Her voice cracks, and it's unfair, but she's raised it. She knows it's unfair, really, but she can't stop. ] I know wh-wh-what he's doing, an-and I'm sick of it! S-sick to death, and- Christine and N-Nana were trying t-to appeal to him and he's j-j-just going to f- freaking use them, and I j-just wanted to fix my damn team and s-survive high school, I wasn't prepared for any of th-th-this, and ohhh my god, why won't it st-st-st-st--

[ And now here we are, she's dug her nails so far into the teddy bear and pulled, pulled, pulled and it rips. Finally, she opens her eyes and looks down at it, as if shocked she's done that. Woozy.

Silent, staring at the stuffing in her hands. ]

[The ripping sound is what finally convinces Ariel to turn around. The bear wasn't exactly the strongest substance in the world, but it's still baffling that she's managed to rend the thing in two.

What does he say to something like that? He glances between bear to girl, girl to bear, momentarily dumbstruck.

And then, seriousness overtakes him. There's perhaps still a modicum of concern, but there's also... curiosity. Intrigue.]

We all cope in our own ways. Appealing to innocence and emotion is how Christine and Nana cope. Perhaps your way is more... based in Aggression. There is nothing wrong with succumbing to that need. [He cracks a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.]

I have a few more stuffed creatures, if you'd like to have your way with them.

[ Dear, dear Riley continues to stare at the bear torn asunder before her. In a distant, weak tone, she murmurs: ] But... That was...

[ No. No, that wasn't the bear Cairo won her, she was just thinking of it as such. The lack of garish neon stripes says that much. She hasn't ruined a precious, precious memento from her precious, precious friend. Her mouth dry, she finally looks up at Ariel, still dumbfounded. ]

I don't... Don't wanna break anything else. [ She doesn't think so, at least? But, at least for now, there wasn't a single stutter in there. ]

Don't you?

[But no, she says she doesn't. And she sounds as if she's at least doing a little better. Whatever strange, curious expression he'd worn previously is eased away by a gentle smile.]

You're starting to look a little better. [He blinks and, as if remembering their promise, turns away.]

I... Apologize for not keeping my word.

[ Whatever...different there was in his face, Riley doesn't recognize it. The expression on her face is like one who's only just coming back from a long trip. She is disoriented, as if the last ten minutes or so have been just a dream. A slow blink, as she lets the stuffing slip from her hands. ]

Your word? No. [ Firmer, more together: ] No, it's... It's okay. Anyone would.

[ She starts wiping off her face with the back of her hand. Her eyes are still full of tears, but, for the first time she starts to look around his room, actually focusing on what's in front of her. ]

I... I think I just. Need a minute.

Take what time you need.

[His voice goes lower, more soothing in pitch. He stumbles about for a moment -- searching for something that Riley can use to wipe her face on. He ends up handing over a pillow case, just in case.]

Would you like for me to fetch some water? Something to eat?

[ She'll take the pillow case but shake her head. ]

No, I...really don't think I can eat anything right now. [ She speaks cautiously and carefully, as if afraid her mouth will start to disobey her again. ] Water, though... Um. That might be nice.

[ ...Incidentally. Whatever the fuck he was burning that started all this to begin with, is that readily out in the open, or...? ]

Water, then.

[He shifts, inching past Riley -- giving her a wide berth if she still needs the space, and out of the door.

Now that she's alone, and if she's well and truly investigating it. She'll probably see a burnt piece of paper, next to a shredded envelope! It probably looks familiar, as the envelope is identical to the one Riley, as well as everyone else received.

If she looks close enough, she'll probably just be able to make out the top of Ariel's head in the photo.]

[ Of course she’s investigating it. After a few moments, she rises from the chair on slightly shakily legs. The burnt paper is what draws her attention, as that’s what she knocked on the door for to begin with. It’s fine? So she should leave it alone.

But she doesn’t leave it alone, she gets closer. She’s already pale and tired from her anxiety attack. What she recognizes in the photo sends her whiter. ]

...Oh. [ What else is there really to say? ]

[It's not a horrifically long walk to fetch a glass of water and return. Just long enough to be dramatic.

Ariel enters just after Riley speaks. His fingers tighten on the mug he's holding, but thankfully he manages to avoid breaking it. He clears his throat as he shuffles into the room, holding out the mug without meeting her eyes. As he does, he tries to shift around her to wipe the remains onto the floor. He'll clean up the mess later.]

You shouldn't have had to see that.

week 2

no subject

no subject

okay just gonna slap a cw: panic attacks on here

cw: panic attacks

cw: panic attacks

cw: panic attacks

cw: panic attacks

no subject

cw: parental neglect mentions

cw: parental neglect mentions

cw: panic attacks, again

cw: panic attacks, again (we have fun here)

no subject

no subject

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

cw: minor suicidal ideation?

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)