itscurtains | don't stop believing

Entry tags:

act 3,
finale

don't stop believing

[Streetlights, reveals] | [Vision Statements] | [Mass Resolution: CONNECT] | [A little touch of the sun (Revival)] | [They do this bullshit like 8 times a week (Rescue)]

[It's a pleasant afternoon in the garden. Maybe not emotionally, but physically - isn't it nice when you get to have class outside?

As your voices rise, singing defiance in unison out for the Wizard, there's no immediate response; at least, nothing that clearly is a response. But there's something. Amidst the sound of your song, it may be hard to hear at first; Janis will likely be the first to notice, but eventually everyone is able to hear. It sounds as though other voices are rising along with yours.

There's something on the air - no music, or at least no instrumentals, just a disembodied sort of lyrical chant. You don't recognize any of the voices. They aren't singing the same song as you all are. Maybe they can't; they sound long long ago, and far far away now. Still - despite everything - the trees around you move lightly in a sudden soft breeze. It feels as though you have invoked something, old and entirely beyond your knowledge.

But first. Haven't you forgotten something?

It's Wednesday.

Welcome to this week's school club!]

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[...Spongebob doesn't have to finish that sentence for Salieri to know what he's talking about.

Ah.

That explains it.

He keeps his expression controlled, for now. They'll be time to talk about that later.

Instead he just...reaches out to run a hand through his hair]

You certainly do. Of course you'd be a redhead.

[Spongebob relaxes at the touch. He loved his old body a lot, but there was something so soothing about someone running their hands through your hair.

It's nice, he likes it.]

It's a really pretty color. I can see why you land creatures love hair so much.

[He's quiet for another moment, before something suddenly occurs to him.]

Oh wait, I got some presents for you in my backpack. I... I thought it would be nice to take them just in case we found you.

It suits you.

[as for that other part, he quiets--and there's a bit of a frown between his brows, confusion]

You...did? That's...that's very sweet, Spongebob. [but also...] What's the occasion?

Seeing you again, of course!

[Spongebob sets his backpack down and pulls out a copy of Faust, a paper doll chain of Discord, Farrah, himself, and Salieri, and a note. He seems particularly sheepish at the last gift.]

I... I wrote it before I saw what you did for me, for all of us.

[Salieri will take those, gently, frowning a little still in confusion, when he notices the book first (Faust, what?? It's a story he knows, of course, but why the book?,) then his expression softens a bit at the paper dolls, and then...the note.

He's quiet as he reads it, expression going pained to the point where he needs to close his eyes for a moment, throat tight--his eyes are wet when he reopens them, blinking rapidly as he reads the rest of that note, slowly and carefully. By the time he gets to the end, what little is left of his eye makeup is absolutely getting washed off by tears so--

--he clears his throat, carefully]

I...[where does he even start]

...I'm so, so sorry, Spongebob. I'm sorry that I betrayed your trust, and I'm sorry for that stupid, idiotic, horrible plan--[his voice starts to go into disgust, and he cuts himself off, sucking in a breath]

...first, allow me to be clear. I never hated you. I could never hate you. No matter what. Concerned, scared, yes but never hate. And...you're right, you do deserve better in a second father. I don't know if that's me, but I also know that decision is not mine to make. [Discord is right there, but--no, not important right now.]

I...don't know if I can start over. Not exactly. I have so much to make up for, but also I...I'd like to do better. I don't want to forget what I've done or leave it behind entirely because I want to be better than that. I want to learn from my mistakes and what I've done wrong and do whatever I can to be a better friend, a better father.

If...if that's something you can accept, then...in such a case, I would be honored to be one of the people you call "dad."

[Spongebob looks absolutely nervous as Salieri reads over the note, cuddling Gary for support. He knows now that Salieri doesn't hate him, but his stomach does a sick flip wondering how he's going to react to it.

When he starts crying, Spongebob gets the urge to pull Salieri into a hug, but he stills. He wants to hug him, but he wants to hear what Salieri has to say more, as much as it hurts.

And then he starts talking. He hadn't heard Salieri this pained since Varian's trial, and it hurt him to see Salieri feel so hurt at him like this. Even though Salieri never blamed him for this.

A part of him wants to apologize over and over again, but a small part of him realizes something.

Sometimes something is nobody's fault. Sometimes everyone is just a little hurt and they do stupid things as a result.

And sometimes the best way to apologize is to be alive and promise that they'll get better.

He leans against Salieri, exhausted.]

I love you, dad. And know you'll be a great dad now that we're out of here.

[Spongebob leans against him, and Salieri reaches up to wrap his arms around him, to hold him tightly]

I'm going to do my utmost.

[A sob escapes him as he settles into his arms.

Feeling absolutely safe.]

Thank you, and I promise I'll be the best son ever! I'm gonna make you wonder how you ever lived without me!

[asdhfs he can't help but laugh a bit at that, watery and wet]

Oh, Spongebob, I've been wondering that for the past week and a half. [his hand rests between Spongebob's shoulder blades as Salieri rests his chin on the top of his head] And you already are the best son ever.

[He sniffles, burying himself in Salieri's chest.]

You... you really mean it?

[Spongebob didn't distrust Salieri, not at all. But the confirmation that he didn't disappoint Salieri is.... well, it's still a bit of a shock.]

I do. I truly mean that.

[Salieri can’t see it, but Spongebob is smiling. It’s shaky, but genuine. He felt like a kid, whenever his mom would hold him close after a rough day, and he felt the pain just melt away as he felt nothing but comfort.]

That’s great to hear.

Because you’re already the best dad I could hope for.

[Sure Salieri did screw up badly, and he loves his biological dad with all his heart, but in his mind?

The universe was more than big enough to hold multiple perfect dads.]

Edited 2021-07-21 01:47 (UTC)

[Something in Salieri's chest lurches a bit at that, tightening--there's the kneejerk reaction to deny it, but ("We don't get to decide that--")

instead he'll just hold Spongebob a little tighter and close his eyes for a moment so he doesn't start weeping all over again. Instead,]

I love you, son. So much.

I love you too.

[And they stay like that for a long while. Spongebob wants to just stay like this forever, feeling comfortable and safe. He knows he has to let go eventually, but he's going to savor this for as long as possible.

Soon, however, Spongebob quietly laughs.]

Y... you know, you've actually have been helping me a bit already.

When... when Will gave us that motive, I started seeing you around everywhere, and you were...

[Spongebob doesn't finish that, but judging by his tone it seemed like the hallucinations were not nice ones.]

But... but after the car crash you stuck around, and you seemed so scared. You kept apologizing to me and telling me how much you loved me and how I deserved to live...

[A sob catches in his throat, and he takes a moment to settle himself down before he continues.]

I... I know you weren't really there, but it really helped me when I was stuck in the nurse's room. It... it made me realize how much you loved me.

[...oh. He hadn't realized; Orpheus, Eurydice and Elle had talked about a sickness, about the hallucinations--Salieri hadn't counted on anyone seeing him. The way Spongebob talks about it, he can't imagine what he said to him, at first, at how horrible it might've been, and Salieri's stomach knots at the thought of it, at the little sob that catches in Spongebob's throat, and he tightens his arms around him, at that.

After he's finished, Salieri is quiet a moment, eyes squeezed shut to keep himself from crying again, still holding him tightly]

I...[he swallows, hard] I'm sorry that I ever made you think I didn't love you, Spongebob. [he sucks in a shaky breath] ...but even though those hallucinations certainly made it difficult for you, I'm glad they were also able to comfort you later.

Yeah... it was like my brain realized how scared I was, a-and it tried to remind me that I still have people who loved me, and...

[He takes a shaky breath.]

Those visions were terrifying at first, dad. I felt like everyone was mocking me. Like... like I was at the bottom of a giant hole and everyone was either telling me how much of a failure I was, or...

Or tell me I was doing something good, even though I knew I wasn't. And they were laughing too, like they were making fun of me. Like even though they were trying to encourage me, that they knew I couldn't do anything.

[Another sob escapes him. Spongebob finally started to accept that he does provide a use to the team, but... but those voices in his head still rung sharp. Even though he knows no one was really thinking it, the fact that it felt so real still makes him wonder how much of it is an act.]

Like... like I was just a simple sponge.

Edited 2021-07-23 23:42 (UTC)

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don't stop believing

cw implied suicide attempt

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cw hallucinations, suicide implications

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cw hallucinations, suicide implications