Let's Gather 'Round the Campfire and Sing Our Campfire Song

[employeeoftheyear]

[Well last week Spongebob decided that the Wizard was nothing but a big fucker and everything was all his fault so he is going to kick his "Boost the moral of his friends" scheme into overdrive to rub it in the Wizard's stupid face.

Around the school on Monday, there will be Spongebob's huge mass of fliers again, this time for some sort of camp out.]


Spongebob Squarepants Crazy Camping Party!!!
Come to the edge of the forest on Monday at 5 pm for a whole night of roasting marshmallows, telling Spoooooky stories, and sleeping under the stars!
Don't worry if it rains, we can always bring the camp inside!

Attendance is MANDATORY!!! I will come find you if you don't attend.

[And he absolutely means it.

Even though there are no stars, it's a comfortable evening with no real signs of rain, and Spongebob's managed to set up a cozy Spongebob set out a bunch of blankets, towels, and pillows around a cozy campfire. There are plenty of food you'd normally see at a camp out, including smores! Spongebob seems to have gone all out and brought in practically every kind of candy from the kitchen, so have fun with the sugar rush!]

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[defyingfrigidity]

[Oh... oh okay. So this is where the spooky part comes in. At the pause in Angus's story, a shiver runs down Elsa's spine.]

He went after the one who'd taken his legs, didn't he?

[mcfife]

He did. This time, he asked for the name of the pirate captain that took both of his legs. This pirate left his ship and traveled throughout the kingdom of Aragona, seeking this man. Eventually, he learned that his target had settled down near Madrid.

In the middle of the night, he sneaks into his house, takes out his saber, and slices off the man's legs. The poor guy bleeds to death, but the pirate has his prize, and with the necromantic magic at his disposal, he attaches those legs to his own.

"At last, I am free!" The pirate ran to his ship, and for one night, he reveled and partied and celebrated the greatest spoils of his life.

[Angus looks down at the fire.]

The next day, however, he realized that his arms wouldn't respond to his will. They moved, not wildly, but as if they had a mind of their own. He would reach for a bit of meat, but his hand would move to the left and grab a beer. He would grow hungrier, and just as he thought he would starve, he would regain control of those arms.

Then, his legs started to stand and run on their own.

[defyingfrigidity]

[Being so out of control of your own movements... it sends a chill down Elsa's spine, honestly. She's felt that sort of out of body experience before, the awareness of your limbs moving but not quite the way you want them to; she still thinks back often to when she'd fended off the Duke of Weselton's guards, how her head had just gone all... hazy. She'd seen the arrow before her, inches away from piercing straight through her head, and then the next thing she knew, Hans was calling out to her and she'd nearly skewered one man and shoved the other off a balcony.

It was a terrible feeling. But being so aware of it like this... brr.]

Where did they take him?

[mcfife]

Wherever they felt. The first day, they took him down to the cliffside. He walked along the edge of the drop, his legs refusing to walk to safely. They turned, in the end. One foot stepped off...

But the arm finally grabbed a branch at the last moment. The pirate breathed a sigh of relief, and he was temporarily given just enough control for him to run home.

The second day, the legs took him to a farm, had him sit down, and then the hands scooped up dirt and shoved it at his mouth. This went on for an hour, until the pirate grew sick of the taste.

The third day, all was peaceful. The pirate went to the local shrine and prayed for a way to exorcise these spirits from his body. "I swear that I will leave behind my life of crime and become an honest man!" he cried. But he found neither solice or an answer.

[A log snaps. Angus watches the fire shift, his voice lowers.]

That night, he dreamed that he was speaking with the two men he had killed. The mercenary spoke: "Now you will understand what it means to desecrate a body. These hands are not yours to control, so what power do you have over them?"

The captain spoke: "Vengeance is what you sought, and it is what you receive in return! Nothing can stop me from commanding what is mine!"

The pirate wept and begged them for release, but he realized that he was doomed until the day he died. But while his limbs were possessed, his head was still his own. He called over his right hand man.

"You! I want to be free of this torment. Take my sharpest sword, and cut off my head!"

"But captain!"

"Don't question me, just do it!"

Without any more questions, he did so. The pirate did not even run from the spot. And as his headless body collapsed to the floor, the spirits of the other men were also free.

[A happy ending, he smiles. Unless...] A year later, someone found that right hand men dead behind a tavern. Missing a head.

Some say the ghost of vengeful pirate lives on, finding new victims to use for a new body, never satisfied when they refuse to attach to him. If you hear the sound of two peg legs walking in the hallway, they say, beware of angering his ire.

[With that, he sits back and lets the story sink in.]