itscurtains | Week Four

Entry tags:

act 3,
week 4

Week Four

[Last week, Gershwin High School Academy University saw its very first intentional murder! What a milestone! And right after Spongebob's No Murder party, too - that doesn't seem like it bodes very well for anybody's future.

You all wake up this morning with yet another new memory returned to you. You'll also find that the school's external doors have now unlocked. Congratulations! You're free! Unfortunately, you also seem to be entirely in the middle of nowhere. So maybe it's more of a symbolic victory.

Still, you should look around and do some investigation! Maybe you'll find a fun surprise.]

Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday

(( Be sure to submit your memory regains and your AC for this week! Hester's office hours and the merch booth also remain available! ))

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No, it's alright.

[He smiles, patting her hand with his free one.]

I was upset when I figured it out, but I guess it's just...a part of my story. They don't all end happy, I knew that. I should probably just...deal with it somehow.

But it's not— You're not just a...character or device in a story. I'm here...and I'm talking to you. You're a person— and people get to be sad. People get to want their lives to be better. It doesn't make it all stop sucking or hurting...but you're supposed to hurt. ...You can't just pretend it's okay.

[The Balladeer sighs and leans his head back to rest against the bark of the tree. Sunlight's filtering down through the leaves, so utterly unlike anything he's known back home.]

Maybe. I know...I'd probably say the same thing, if we switched places. But...

[He swallows. This isn't really something he's said out loud to anyone else. He skirted the topic, with Maya, but she'd clearly remembered something terrible, and Benjamin remembered something worse, and how could he talk about his own feelings with all of that happening around him? Now, though, the garden is peaceful. Peregrine only came to hear him play, not for any horrible reason.]

The only reason I got away from there was because I went to the new show, the one like this. I did it because I thought I could keep people alive - but I couldn't. I think I was the wrong person for the job. Maybe if I just...accepted, the first time, that'd I couldn't do it....she'dve found someone else, and nobody would've died.

...Your show? The new one, you— ...what happened?

[ She listened for Connor. She'll listen again. ]

...one of the girls came to me asking about the motive. It was the same one as this week, actually - a wish. I didn't even know why the Player wanted to do that, offer them a reward. She said it was for dramatic reasons...

[Kinda made his job a lot harder, but. He hadn't felt like it was his place to complain, no more than he's sure he can complain about his original show's direction now.]

I knew why she was asking me. I told her everything I knew - what would happen if she did, how she'd risk everyone's lives, how she'd probably end up dying for it herself. I said everything I could think of, to convince her not to act. I got angry. [But now, in the retelling, his voice is just hollow.] It didn't matter. She stabbed a man a couple nights later. Went down for it. I remember thinking - I tried my best, but you can only do so much when you're not - when you're like me. But now, here, I don't...know.

[He's a part of this story. If he'd been there on any of those nights, he could have freed Mumble, or protected Connor. Could he have stepped out of his role and done the same for Valjean? Or was the problem that he stepped out of his role to begin with?]

And now I realize - I was written to have my words fall on deaf ears, and to get shoved aside. Maybe that's a part of my nature. If I stayed in my place, and someone else were there, maybe they both would have lived.

[ Her mouth falls open. He was made to do all this? Deliver those, talk to them? ...Like Hester?

Instantly, Peregrine shakes her head. ]

No, if you told her everything... If she knew what it'd do, and she still... Bal, that was on her. It's— there's no way that's how it's always supposed to go, with you.

You don't believe in fate?

[It's not a question he's had much occasion to consider, but - his world's always been scripted. Isn't that basically the same thing?]

Her wish...she and her friends were stuck in a bad story, and she knew it. We weren't that different.

[ Does she believe in fate? Peregrine quickly shakes her head. ]

If I believed in fate, then...it'd be too overwhelming. It's just like nature, there's no...rules or anything deciding what happens, things just...happen.

[ ... ]

I...want that to be the case, at least. [ But she's uncertain. Unsure. ] Bad stories, that kind of...life, it's not... I don't know. I don't have a reference for it.

No, I understand.

[Janis is probably the only person around here who might get it when he talks like that; at least, the only one willing to talk to him. Before, D-ne was the only one. He wonders if he ever came to regret it back then - his memories only just go past the trial, when he was still just furious.

At least he had the Player, though. There was always her.]

I always figured there was some kind of artistic merit to it. People don't only write happy endings, and they shouldn't have to. We tell the stories we tell for a reason. [.....] Now that I am here, though - it's a nice thought. Deciding what happens yourself. Like I could finally break out of it.

...That's what I meant, when I said...this wasn't a story. It— it shouldn't be. If we're alive...we should have some control over what's happening to us. Even a choice. Goes for me, goes for you too.

...yeah. Yeah.

[He nods to himself for a second, hand drifting down to rest on the body of his guitar.]

I think I'm gonna try. I mean - worst comes to worst, I just...don't save anyone again. I'm already doing that now.

You gotta...give yourself more credit. You're doing a lot more here than you realize, like—

[ ... ]

I mean... I know...I couldn't do this alone.

[The Balladeer turns his head to look at her for a moment, then leans over to nudge her shoulder with hers companionably. (He totally would've offered a fistbump if he knew what those were.)]

Thanks. That's really nice of you to say.

I'm saying it 'cause it's true, Bal.

[A smile breaks across his face.]

You guys keep on giving me little nicknames like that. I kinda like it.

Well... Yeah. Of course. We can't just keep calling you "the Balladeer" all the time, like... That's like your job. It's not all that you are.

[He shrugs lightly.]

I don't know. I get what you're saying, but I never thought much of that prat before - the Player goes by her role too. She's the Leading Player, technically, but that's kinda long.

[Now, though, that he's gotten a chance to be called something else...] I wonder if she'd like something closer to a real name, too?

You could ask her! Next time you see her, uh...when we get out of here... [ It's...harder to sound so certain of that, but. She's trying. ] Ask her if she wants, like, a nickname. That's a normal friend thing.

I should! Yeah, I should. She sort of keeps to herself, outside of her acting troupe, I don't know how many regular people she's friends with.

Well... Whatever people say, no one really...wants to be alone. She's probably the same way.

I think so. She...didn't come and save me just for the show, I'm sure she could have found someone to help a lot easier than that.

[Let's believe that, at any rate.]

[ What a lovely idea. ]

I’m glad she did. …Like, this whole thing sucks, but— I’m glad you get a chance to do…something else.

[He smiles.]

Yeah. I am, too. It'd be a shame if I never got to meet any of you guys. [Or like, anyone decent period, but you get him.]

Same. [ ... ] I'm glad we met, Bal. Even if like half of what you say confuses me, a lot.

[The Balladeer smiles and offers her his hand, palm-up.]

I'm glad we met, too.

[and then he fucking died]

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comeandfindme - 2021-07-06 02:33 (UTC) - Expand

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