Week Four

[stagemanagers]

[Last week, Gershwin High School Academy University saw its very first intentional murder! What a milestone! And right after Spongebob's No Murder party, too - that doesn't seem like it bodes very well for anybody's future.

You all wake up this morning with yet another new memory returned to you. You'll also find that the school's external doors have now unlocked. Congratulations! You're free! Unfortunately, you also seem to be entirely in the middle of nowhere. So maybe it's more of a symbolic victory.

Still, you should look around and do some investigation! Maybe you'll find a fun surprise.]

Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday

(( Be sure to submit your memory regains and your AC for this week! Hester's office hours and the merch booth also remain available! ))

Comments

[tellthestory]

Just a song I heard. You pick stuff up, being around people - or, I do. I think Janis must like this artist.

[Which is a weird pile of things to say, but.]

It's a little nice to branch out from showtunes.

[comeandfindme]

[ She tilts her head a little in confusion. ]

Is this another narrator thing?

[tellthestory]

Yeah, a little. But everyone picks up songs from each other, when you spend this much time together.

[Don't they, Peregrine? He doesn't ask. He has some ideas of how that might've happened for her.]

Maybe it just means we're all getting close.

[comeandfindme]

[ She nods, idly. They can’t really share music they like exactly, but…there’s something about it that makes sense. The songs make sense.

No one deserves to be forgotten… ]

After what…almost four weeks of close quarters that’s no surprise. [ It’s a cynical way of looking at it, but a moment later— ] Do you have any? Like…any that’re yours?

[ It’s a weird thing to talk about for her. Like she’s teetering on the cusp of something she can’t quite grasp. But since coming to terms with the Balladeer’s whole…deal, she’s tried meeting him where he is more. Compromising.

So long as he doesn’t start demeaning himself again. ]

[tellthestory]

Not...exactly. [He tilts his head thoughtfully.] I'm the Balladeer, so most of my songs are ballads about other people. The Ballad of Booth, the Ballad of Guiteau...I sing them, but they aren't mine.

[He doesn't intend any of that to be self-deprecating; really, he doesn't even view it that way. Not everyone has a solo all about themselves, even if you aren't narrating the show.]

Closest I get is parts of my last song. But that was... [He grimaces slightly.] I liked getting to say my piece. I guess I just didn't like the consequences.

[comeandfindme]

Consequences? ...What consequences?

[ She asks, but... ]

Is it— ...that photo you got?

[tellthestory]

...I don't know. Maybe.

[The Balladeer goes quiet, and sets the guitar down in the grass next to him so he can shift position. It's...it still hurts. But after talking to some people, his initial wash of despair at learning his true purpose has started to fade. Whatever he was meant for, he is still here now.]

The script said that, after my last lines, I'm supposed to get driven away and not come back. But I've been...thinking about it. When that happened for me, when the Player came to save me...I was surrounded. I didn't have anywhere to run to.

[If he'd seen an opening, he would have run. The Balladeer doesn't quite know what might have happened afterwards; it seems, to him, that being cut from the rest of the show is tantamount to no longer existing. It isn't grounded enough in reality for the audience to assume that he just...went home, or anything like that. But still - he'd been afraid for his life. He would have run to his own end, rather than stand and let them mete it out.

Were they going to give him an escape? Or was it...something else?]

They all had their guns out...

[But could they have really just shot him onstage like that? Did they have that kind of special effects? He's not sure anymore.]

[comeandfindme]

[ Peregrine stands from Connor's bench. She goes to sit next to the Balladeer and put a hand on his hand. ]

You don't have to...think about it right now. Okay? I'm sorry I asked.

[tellthestory]

No, it's alright.

[He smiles, patting her hand with his free one.]

I was upset when I figured it out, but I guess it's just...a part of my story. They don't all end happy, I knew that. I should probably just...deal with it somehow.

[comeandfindme]

But it's not— You're not just a...character or device in a story. I'm here...and I'm talking to you. You're a person— and people get to be sad. People get to want their lives to be better. It doesn't make it all stop sucking or hurting...but you're supposed to hurt. ...You can't just pretend it's okay.

[tellthestory]

[The Balladeer sighs and leans his head back to rest against the bark of the tree. Sunlight's filtering down through the leaves, so utterly unlike anything he's known back home.]

Maybe. I know...I'd probably say the same thing, if we switched places. But...

[He swallows. This isn't really something he's said out loud to anyone else. He skirted the topic, with Maya, but she'd clearly remembered something terrible, and Benjamin remembered something worse, and how could he talk about his own feelings with all of that happening around him? Now, though, the garden is peaceful. Peregrine only came to hear him play, not for any horrible reason.]

The only reason I got away from there was because I went to the new show, the one like this. I did it because I thought I could keep people alive - but I couldn't. I think I was the wrong person for the job. Maybe if I just...accepted, the first time, that'd I couldn't do it....she'dve found someone else, and nobody would've died.

[comeandfindme]

...Your show? The new one, you— ...what happened?

[ She listened for Connor. She'll listen again. ]

[tellthestory]

...one of the girls came to me asking about the motive. It was the same one as this week, actually - a wish. I didn't even know why the Player wanted to do that, offer them a reward. She said it was for dramatic reasons...

[Kinda made his job a lot harder, but. He hadn't felt like it was his place to complain, no more than he's sure he can complain about his original show's direction now.]

I knew why she was asking me. I told her everything I knew - what would happen if she did, how she'd risk everyone's lives, how she'd probably end up dying for it herself. I said everything I could think of, to convince her not to act. I got angry. [But now, in the retelling, his voice is just hollow.] It didn't matter. She stabbed a man a couple nights later. Went down for it. I remember thinking - I tried my best, but you can only do so much when you're not - when you're like me. But now, here, I don't...know.

[He's a part of this story. If he'd been there on any of those nights, he could have freed Mumble, or protected Connor. Could he have stepped out of his role and done the same for Valjean? Or was the problem that he stepped out of his role to begin with?]

And now I realize - I was written to have my words fall on deaf ears, and to get shoved aside. Maybe that's a part of my nature. If I stayed in my place, and someone else were there, maybe they both would have lived.

[comeandfindme]

[ Her mouth falls open. He was made to do all this? Deliver those, talk to them? ...Like Hester?

Instantly, Peregrine shakes her head. ]

No, if you told her everything... If she knew what it'd do, and she still... Bal, that was on her. It's— there's no way that's how it's always supposed to go, with you.

[tellthestory]

You don't believe in fate?

[It's not a question he's had much occasion to consider, but - his world's always been scripted. Isn't that basically the same thing?]

Her wish...she and her friends were stuck in a bad story, and she knew it. We weren't that different.

[comeandfindme]

[ Does she believe in fate? Peregrine quickly shakes her head. ]

If I believed in fate, then...it'd be too overwhelming. It's just like nature, there's no...rules or anything deciding what happens, things just...happen.

[ ... ]

I...want that to be the case, at least. [ But she's uncertain. Unsure. ] Bad stories, that kind of...life, it's not... I don't know. I don't have a reference for it.

[tellthestory]

No, I understand.

[Janis is probably the only person around here who might get it when he talks like that; at least, the only one willing to talk to him. Before, D-ne was the only one. He wonders if he ever came to regret it back then - his memories only just go past the trial, when he was still just furious.

At least he had the Player, though. There was always her.]

I always figured there was some kind of artistic merit to it. People don't only write happy endings, and they shouldn't have to. We tell the stories we tell for a reason. [.....] Now that I am here, though - it's a nice thought. Deciding what happens yourself. Like I could finally break out of it.

[comeandfindme]

...That's what I meant, when I said...this wasn't a story. It— it shouldn't be. If we're alive...we should have some control over what's happening to us. Even a choice. Goes for me, goes for you too.

[tellthestory]

...yeah. Yeah.

[He nods to himself for a second, hand drifting down to rest on the body of his guitar.]

I think I'm gonna try. I mean - worst comes to worst, I just...don't save anyone again. I'm already doing that now.

[comeandfindme]

You gotta...give yourself more credit. You're doing a lot more here than you realize, like—

[ ... ]

I mean... I know...I couldn't do this alone.

[tellthestory]

[The Balladeer turns his head to look at her for a moment, then leans over to nudge her shoulder with hers companionably. (He totally would've offered a fistbump if he knew what those were.)]

Thanks. That's really nice of you to say.

[comeandfindme]

I'm saying it 'cause it's true, Bal.

[tellthestory]

[A smile breaks across his face.]

You guys keep on giving me little nicknames like that. I kinda like it.

[comeandfindme]

Well... Yeah. Of course. We can't just keep calling you "the Balladeer" all the time, like... That's like your job. It's not all that you are.

[tellthestory]

[He shrugs lightly.]

I don't know. I get what you're saying, but I never thought much of that prat before - the Player goes by her role too. She's the Leading Player, technically, but that's kinda long.

[Now, though, that he's gotten a chance to be called something else...] I wonder if she'd like something closer to a real name, too?