itscurtains | Is This Where You Wanna Be? Crawling On Your Hands and Knees?

[In a perfect world, Maya would have been able to isolate herself for the rest of the evening. It's not like her to wallow in her feelings, but it's also not like her to be trapped away in a murder school or part of an execution so... not like she has much choice there. Besides, between the influence of Janis, and the sight of her remaining dormmates, it's clear that Maya simply can't... let things go.

It's like she told the SQUIP. They look to her for hope. And so, hope she must be. It's her job to stand tall for the others. Thankfully help comes easier this time -- there's no need to scruff Discord, or try to keep Spongebob from making Hate Patties. Maybe that, in and of itself, is a good sign.

It's just another fluke. They'll be okay. They're together, after all. Even Salieri and Discord are getting along well enough to help.

Cutting potatoes proves to be an interesting task, considering the fact that most of the knives are missing. Maya has a few guesses as to how that happened, but she won't point fingers again today. She makes do with what she has -- two swords between her and Cassandra.

Potatoes, cakes, pies -- the arrangement is much the same. There's even cocoa (made by less experienced hands, unfortunately), and alcohol. It all feels like a repeat of last week, but she's trying to not think about it. She does her best to keep a smile on her face as she knocks on each door, inviting others to the cafeteria once more.]

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[Varian takes a deep, deep breath. Holds it. Then exhales.]

I know.

[Plink.]

I've been...trying to think of how to add to the ofrenda. For Connor.

[Had he told Salieri about what it is exactly, yet?]

It's...the memorial he and I built for Mumble and Sissi. I just never thought...

[oh. Salieri's brow drops into a slight frown of concern]

...what about that purple jacket he made?

[Oh. That's...]

I think that's a really good idea.

[He knows that having objects that represented them in life on the altar is important. Either things they actually owned, or things that would have been important to them.]

He told me it was important to celebrate life, even when somebody dies. So...I want to be able to do that for him.

[he'll nod at that, in agreement]

If you'd allow, I'd like to help, if I can.

Of course. All the help I can get would be...great, actually.

[Since, you know. Broadhurst is kindof empty, now?

It's depressing.]

...I also thought, maybe...I should do something for the SQUIP. But seperate.

I can't put it on the same ofrenda.

[Even if he pities the program, it still murdered Connor.]

...admittedly, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that myself, but if it something you want to do Varian, I will of course assist you however I can.

...no, it's okay. You don't have to.

[He shakes his head a little.]

Maybe it's not something I should even bother spending energy on, but...I don't know.

I don't know how I feel yet.

Even if it's not something I personally agree with or feel, Varian...I want to be able to support you. [he reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder] What you need to do to have some closure to this entire situation, whatever that might be, is more important to me.

[Salieri...

Does he mind if Varian leans over and gives him a brief hug? Cause he's going to.

He's been a little more open to doing that with people, lately...maybe because he's realizing how short their time together can be.]

Thank you. I really mean that.

[I want to be able to support you]

...I'll figure something out. Maybe not right now...but eventually. Connor is my priority, first and foremost.

[as Varian leans over to hug him, Salieri's arms will go around him immediately in turn, hugging him close]

Of course. [and maybe he just...rests his chin on the top of his head for a moment, until Varian decides to pull back] Whatever you decide, Varian. Just let me know, and I'll be there to assist you.

[He'll pull back after a moment, but...just let him stay for a second longer.

Feeling. Thinking.]

I've just been thinking...or, trying to think, I guess...of what my Dad would have done if he were here.

I don't remember my Mom...she died when I was really young. But there isn't...really a whole lot of her for me to remember her by, you know? I don't know if it's just a coincidence, or....if Dad couldn't handle seeing it in the house.

But it's sad thinking that way.

[Varian can stay as long like this as he likes. There's not much Salieri can do about their situation, but he can at least do this]

I don't have too much to remember my parents by either. Most of it had to be sold off when they died. So I certainly can understand having something to want to remember your Mother by and...wanting to have something to remember the others here as well.

Yeah. I feel like it's...important to remember.

[They have to remember their number as a whole, how they started. None of them would have killed, accidentally or purposefully, if they weren't being kept here.]

It's kindof a scary thought, that you could be forgotten when you're not here anymore.

[BOY]

It...truly is. And equally scary, to think that we ourselves could forget.

[he huffs out a small sigh] ...any kind of memorial certainly does aid in remembering, though.

[LOOK HE'S...WORRIED...]

Yeah...

I guess it's just...nice to have something I can control. It's one of the few things I have control over.

...I can certainly understand that, considering our situation. Of all the ways of finding control here, this is certainly a good choice. Sometimes we have to express ourselves artistically in order to release something, after all.

Yeah...not that it's very good, is it?

[He laughs, faintly. It isn't meant to be good, but.]

I don't think it needs to be good to be important, quite honestly.

You think?

[Hm...]

I guess...as long as it's cathartic, huh...

Indeed. As long as it does for you what you need it to, that's what's most important.

Is This Where You Wanna Be? Crawling On Your Hands and Knees?

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pardon the little bit of headcanon here bc his mom's never ever mentioned but shh its fine

this is Headcanon Central rn

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