Is This Where You Wanna Be? Crawling On Your Hands and Knees?

[mayavericks]

[In a perfect world, Maya would have been able to isolate herself for the rest of the evening. It's not like her to wallow in her feelings, but it's also not like her to be trapped away in a murder school or part of an execution so... not like she has much choice there. Besides, between the influence of Janis, and the sight of her remaining dormmates, it's clear that Maya simply can't... let things go.

It's like she told the SQUIP. They look to her for hope. And so, hope she must be. It's her job to stand tall for the others. Thankfully help comes easier this time -- there's no need to scruff Discord, or try to keep Spongebob from making Hate Patties. Maybe that, in and of itself, is a good sign.

It's just another fluke. They'll be okay. They're together, after all. Even Salieri and Discord are getting along well enough to help.

Cutting potatoes proves to be an interesting task, considering the fact that most of the knives are missing. Maya has a few guesses as to how that happened, but she won't point fingers again today. She makes do with what she has -- two swords between her and Cassandra.

Potatoes, cakes, pies -- the arrangement is much the same. There's even cocoa (made by less experienced hands, unfortunately), and alcohol. It all feels like a repeat of last week, but she's trying to not think about it. She does her best to keep a smile on her face as she knocks on each door, inviting others to the cafeteria once more.]

Comments

[themuseabandonsyou]

[ Orpheus has a bottle of wine. It's Persephone's favorite - a vintage older than the hills and sweet with the flavors of spring flowers and stronger than wines normally are. She brings bottles of it up with her every year and the taste is a reminder of the celebrations she brings with her everywhere she goes, bright and lively and loud, and he'd meant to save it for a similar occasion, but.

Well.

He drinks from it heavily, tonight, a faraway look in his eyes as he stares off into the distance from where he's seated at a table at the party and thinks, and tries to understand past all the roaring, roiling fear and anger and confusion in his head. If anyone approaches him he'll offer them a cup, silent for a long moment, before saying, ]

He didn't understand. Why we'd be upset. Why we couldn't just move on.

[ But for the most part he shadows Eurydice around the room as she tries to keep peoples' strength up, looking distant and confused. He ends up standing in the kitchen, staring at a blank wall in dead silence for a long moment before tears start to fall down his face, little hiccupping sobs shaking his shoulders. At the end of the night, he'll head into the boy's locker room and look around for anyone else, before beginning to sing, high and resonant.]

Of all the comrades that e'er I had
They're sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that e'er I had
They'd wish me one more day to stay

But since it fell into my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I'll gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be to you all

Kitchen

[violentenvies]

[Salieri is just returning to the kitchen to get a couple more cups of cocoa to pass out when he notices Orpheus standing there, quietly, and moves to step closer to him]

Monsieur Orpheus--?

[then he notices the tears

Oh.

Something in his chest squeezes tightly for his friend's sorrow, he's stepping close to him, unthinkingly moving to reach out to him, to put a hand on his shoulder and offer comfort in anyway possible]

Orpheus--I'm so sorry.

[themuseabandonsyou]

[ Orpheus doesn't look up, just grits his teeth and shakes his head and chokes out- ]

It wasn't - it wasn't an accident this time. He- he did it on purpose.

[ And it feels stupid and childish to state the obvious like this, but it's all that's whirling through his mind. How he could do that, over and over and over again. He sobs, brokenly, and reaches up to put his hand over Salieri's on his shoulder. ]

[violentenvies]

[Salieri...doesn't really have a response to that. What can one say, really?

There's a moment of hesitation--and then he gently tugs Orpheus forward a bit so he can pull him into a hug, wrapping an arm around his shoulders]

I'm so sorry.

[themuseabandonsyou]

[ Orpheus leans into it, throwing an arm around Salieri in turn and resting his head on his shoulder. ]

He knew what he was doing and he still did it, he killed someone and he would've let the Wizard kill all of us and I know it was to protect his friend, but - but why?

[ It all comes tumbling out in a single breath, and he gasps afterwards, shuddering with the tears. ]

It's all wrong. It's all wrong.

[violentenvies]

[Salieri is just going to just keep a hold of him, hand resting between his shoulder blades and rubbing back and forth gently]

I don't know. I don't know why and I can't claim to understand the intricacies of what it claimed was programming, or what that even means. But you're right, it is wrong. I'm sorry that I can offer no better explanation than that.

table

[brokeforgood]

.... No thanks. Connor tried to keep me from drinking so much. [Farrah offers half a smile, then drops into a nearby seat.]

Don’t get all hung up on it. None of that stuff matters.

[themuseabandonsyou]

That's probably a good idea. I don't know how healthy this is.

[ For someone her age? No, in general, really. But he takes another long drink from his own cup anyway. ]

I guess it doesn't. But I just - I feel like he was starting to understand, when we were trying to explain. But now he's never going to, not really.

Table

[alchemistake]

[Varian had come to sit near Orpheus at some point. He could see him drinking, heard the murmuring to himself...and since that particular topic is weighing heavily on his own mind, he couldn't just leave him to those thoughts alone.

He has his own drink though, so Orpheus won't have to worry about offering him anything.]

It was following its programming.

[themuseabandonsyou]

Its programming. [ Orpheus echoes, not looking up from the cup of wine in his hands. ] That's - like a set of instructions, right? A code of conduct. The thing he said he defined himself by. The thing he was created to do.

[alchemistake]

Yes.

[As far as Varian understands, anyway.]

...what it did was horrible. Unforgiveable. But...with how blunt it was with everything, I think it's easy to forget that it probably physically couldn't do anything else. There's no morality holding it back. It just...did what was logical.

[Logical. The word burns like ash on his tongue.]

[themuseabandonsyou]

I'm not sure I believe that. [ says Orpheus, quietly. ] He talked a lot about not having emotions. About being above them. But you saw the way he acted. And when we were explaining - about grief, and love, I thought maybe he understood, just a little.

[alchemistake]

Yeah. When...when I saw it find that pill...it was like I said. Frantic. It was as genuine of a response as I'd expect from anyone else seeing something that surprised them.

You might be right, in that case. But I'm not sure how much it helped in the end...

[Because in the end, the SQUIP still killed Connor. Even if there was potential for an emotional response...it didn't matter.]

Table at the party

[mcfife]

[Angus accepts the offering of a soothing drink, though the occasion is solemn and refrains from toasting him. He needed this.]

He followed his programming. He could have fought against it. I saw him start to understand what it means to be a human.

[themuseabandonsyou]

[ Orpheus hands him the cup and pours him a generous amount. No time like the present, right? ]

It seemed like he was. When we were explaining grief, and love. He stopped. He thought about it. And he lead us to the answer. I know we'd started to figure it out by then, but he could've kept fighting it, and he didn't.

[ Orpheus looks off into the distance, fidgeting with the bottle. ]

But we'll never know. How much he might've learned, if he'd had time.

[mcfife]

[Angus looks down at his half-empty cup.]

He was curious. Most robots don't question actions, they act upon their orders. I think...he was close to understanding. Never had I seen a robot achieve that level of emotions.

["I am. Irrelevant." His last words to Angus.]

Of self-awareness.

[themuseabandonsyou]

You have - people like the SQUIP, where you come from? Ones who were created with codes like his. Is that what they're called? Robots?

boy's locker room

[comeandfindme]

[ Peregrine can hear Orpheus from the other locker room. She's honestly stopped caring about it, the segregated locker rooms, since she found Connor. After spending most of the day working herself to the bone, it's almost...calming.

She opens the door behind him, as he's almost done, and she just listens. ]

[themuseabandonsyou]

Fill to me the parting glass
And drink a health whate'er befalls
Then gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be to you all

[ Orpheus closes his eyes and lets the last note ring out, echoing off the tiles of the room, before turning to go - only to find Peregrine at the door. ]

Oh. Um, hello. I'm sorry, I was just. Saying goodbye. Did you want to be alone in here? I can go.

[comeandfindme]

[ Instead of exactlyanswering him— ]

I just...heard someone in here, so. I wanted to see who it was.

[themuseabandonsyou]

[ Orpheus nods in understanding. ]

I know it's usually supposed to be women who sing at funerals. Relatives. But I was here, and this is the best I can do for him.

Party

[whatyouwant]

The SQUIP?

[Elle sits next to Orpheus, setting a plate of foo down in front of him.]

[themuseabandonsyou]

Thanks. [ says Orpheus, pulling the plate a little closer to him but not touching anything on it just yet. He knows he should eat, that he should keep his strength up, that he shouldn't waste food. But it's hard, and he can't bring himself to do it just yet. ]

And, yes. He was talking, at the trial, about how people... don't need to care about each other, if it stops benefiting them. He couldn't understand why Peregrine would keep caring about Connor, even though he was gone and it was hurting her. We... tried to explain it to him, and I think he might have started to understand? But...

[whatyouwant]

Attachments are a pretty human thing.

Maybe he was starting to become more than a computer? I guess...I guess we'll never know now.

[themuseabandonsyou]

We won't. Because he did what he thought was logical, but it was really just... selfish. Even if he did it to get back to someone who needed him.

[ Orpheus takes a long drink after that, and starts to pick idly at the potatoes in front of him with a fork. ]