madgiganticfeelings: (sitzprobe)
Christine Canigula ([personal profile] madgiganticfeelings) wrote in [community profile] itscurtains 2020-07-30 09:05 pm (UTC)

I-I'm okay. I want to talk about it.

[It's sort of related to the mess with Jeremy, so she thinks if she at least talks through this, maybe she can find a solution to bridge the gap between them there.]

Jeremy had come to me before our school play's performance, to try to give me a SQUIP. I already knew about them, and I kind of freaked out, I guess? And I told him no. As much as I could before I had to get on stage.

But I didn't know he'd already filled a prop beaker with them before. So I got one on stage. Like my pamphlet said, it looked like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and I know that sounds ridiculous and funny but you have to stick with me here when I say it was honestly terrifying? Especially because it kept insisting the best way for everyone to be happy was for me to confess how I felt to Jeremy.

Or... I think it's how I felt? It gave me the words, though, and they feel like what I wanted to say, but also not. And it's not like I could say or do anything differently, I just...

[Her stomach rebels again, but she swallows hard and exhales.]

I just had to make Jeremy happy. That was the only thing that seemed to matter to me.

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