Love's no good but it sure beats the hurt

[madgiganticfeelings]

[That was... Christine can only call it the most horrible thing she's seen so far, with that familiar dread that says something worse may come. Four people have died. Four friends Christine had trusted in and relied upon. And four more people she cares about have turned into memories and painful reminders of her failure to do anything meaningful here.

And Christine wallows in that. God, does she wallow. But she also knows that those painful ghosts of the people she loved relied on her to keep getting back up when the world knocked her down. And she has to keep going, if only to honour there memories.

The note she slides under each person's door is very simple, the bright orange gel pen somehow seeming duller in the wake of mourning:]

Food is in the dining hall.
Please come have something, or I'll track you down in an hour and force feed you.
If there's anything at all you need, please come talk to me. We shouldn't have to suffer alone.
-Christine

[There's a few dishes Christine knows how to make: lo mein and beef stew, some simple sandwiches as well. There are almond cookies after the more filling foods are prepared.

Off to the side is a plate with a few dumplings and... what looks like mashed turnips? An odd combination, but they were Angus' favourite.

And Christine is true to her word. If you don't come in an hour, she'll find you. In fact, she makes rounds around the opera house pretty much every hour, checking each room, and... maybe singing softly to herself as she goes.]

O god,
I can't stay, I won't stay for things left unseen
I can't stay, I won't stay, this end has no means
I can't stay, I won't stay, you were just a dream
A sweet sweet dream
You were a dream
But not my dream...

[Speaking of dreams, someone should convince her to go to bed.]

Comments

[musacal]

[ She doesn't shy away, but stay very still. Eventually though she lowers the letter and picture frame into her lap, revealing the group photo within the froggy frame. ]

...She was one of the most passionate people I ever met.

Just watching her inspired you to work just as hard as she did.

[37773972]

I can believe it.

[He looks over the photo, noting Nana, Claudine, and...the others.]

Are you up for talking about her a little bit more, Nana? It's okay if you're not.

[musacal]

...Sure. I can try doing that.

[ A deep, steadying breath.]

Did she ever tell you she was a child actress? But even with that kind of background, she never rested on her laurels. She was always trying to better herself, always aiming for the top.

[ That "top" being Maya Tendou but... ]

It was amazing to watch her and Maya-san play off one another. That's why when they were cast as the leads in our play, no one was surprised. She was a perfect Flora.

[37773972]

She didn't- but good for her. [He knew she was clearly in to plays, but...like he said. He wishes he knew her better.]

Your play. What was it about?

will i ever stop using this song for Starlight? all signs point to no

[musacal]

[ Nana is quiet for a few more seconds, before quietly: ]

It's a sad song,
It's a sad tale...
...It's a tragedy.

[ ... ]

It's about two girls, Claire and Flora, who promise to meet each other again in a year. But when they do, it turns out that Claire lost her memory of Flora after an accident. They decide to try and bring Claire's memory back by grasping a star and making a wish, but they have to ascend a tower first. Inside are six sinful goddesses that they have to get past: Fury, Curse, Escape, Jealousy, Despair and Arrogance.

...When they get to the top though they only face tragedy. Flora is blinded and falls from the tower, and while Claire has her memories back she's left alone and imprisoned in the tower with the other goddesses. They never meet again.

[ I'm sorry Stephen if you wanted to hear about something that... wasn't a huge downer??? ]

[37773972]

[...that's...a hell of a story. And- very quietly-]

You said you'd been reliving the same year for decades. Did you do the same play every time...?

[musacal]

[ She nods. ]

We actually... we're supposed to perform it every year. It's like... I've described it to the others as like a final project? Instead of an exam we show how we've improved each year by performing the same play, with any changes we might do.

[ She casts her eyes back down to the cast photo. ]

But... but there's no way we could ever top that first performance. The story may be a tragedy but the performance we did together... it was amazing. I never felt anything like that... never made anything like that with people who loved the stage as much as I did. It was so... blinding.

I... at first just wanted to relive that experience once more.

[37773972]

...and you did that. For decades...?

Nana, how old are you?

[musacal]

...I don't know. I stopped keeping track a long time ago. But if I had to guess... it's been maybe at least over 50 cycles...?

[ good lord ]

Turning 18 here was a first... actually, come to think of it I don't know when I turned 17 either...

[ ...now's not the time to think about that too hard, she doesn't need a third meltdown today. ]

[37773972]

[She's...probably closer to 68, honestly. Just...reliving the same year, over and over. Stephen lets out a breath, and then, hesitantly, reaches for a hand]

It must have been amazing. Especially if it was worth going through that many times.

[musacal]

[ That... finally gets a smile out of her. A soft one that’s still a little sad but it’s there. She doesn’t pull her hand back either. ]

It really was. It was... something special. I wish everyone here could see it.

[ She pauses for a moment though. ]

But I... would be willing to let it go and move on. If it meant I could bring everyone here back to life. If it meant Christine didn’t have to have a dead body land on her, or Steven didn’t have to try and cry over dead bodies to revive them, or Riley didn’t have to... [ you know ]

[37773972]

[He can't really grasp it, all things considered, but he can put his over hers.]

...by going back to the beginning of this?

[musacal]

[ Even just that is enough. ]

Yes.

The Top Star has the power to go to any stage she wishes. That’s how what I did before was possible.

They call this place a stage. It would count. But the only one who would remember would be me and... well...

[ She’s also have to. You know. Get out of here first. ]

[37773972]

To do that, you'd have to end the show, first. [AkA- kill them. But- if she could save them?

Something else occurs to him.]

Nobody would remember...anything? Except you?

[He wouldn't remember...Riley? Christine? Jeremy? Mephisto?]

[musacal]

Yes. Everyone’s trauma would be gone - the only one who’d have to shoulder their pain would be me.

[ She’s not really thinking about... all those relationships lost. ]

[37773972]

That's an awful lot of pain for one person.

[Remembering everyone who died- even if you saved them in the end. Is it worth it?]

[musacal]

[ She... smiles a little then. ]

I'm... used to it.

[ OOF. ]

[37773972]

[Oh, Nana. No wonder Claudine asked him to look after her. He's silent for a moment...then...]

...Claudine asked me to look after you. I don't think she knew everything, but- I think she knew you needed help.

[And he'll be damned if he doesn't give it. He sort of...pats her hand, he can't squeeze it, but. He can say that he's there as much as he does with his next words, which come out without hesitation-]

Lay your burdens on me
I can bear all the weight of the world with you on my shoulders

[musacal]

[ Those words and the head pat both give her pause. ]

Clau-chan... asked that?

[ She's quiet again as the singing sinks in, the meaning of the words Stephen is saying. Someone offering to help, someone basically saying she doesn't need to do all this alone.

It reminds her of Junna.

She's near whisper singing the next words that come out of her, like they're more to herself than anything, ]

Never dreamed... out in the world...
There are arms to hold you...
You've always known,
Your heart was on its own...

[ But maybe, just maybe, it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be on its own.

Carefully she leans over and, mindful of Stephen's bad arm (which. I hope is on the other side because i can't keep track of shit) rests lightly against him.

Okay. You win. She'll lay some of her burdens on you. A little bit anyway. ]

[37773972]

She wrote it.

[actually both his arms are hecked up, BOY ISN'T THAT FUN. but the majority of the damage is on his forearms; his upper arms may have needed a bandaid or two, but they're certainly able to be leaned on without hurting him. We're not going to go too much in to specifics as to how he's able to dress himself, but he may or may not be wearing a poncho right now.

That's not important, though. What's important is that he's raising an arm to kind of hold Nana against him as best he can.]

As much as you'll let me, Nana. I'll help.