Oh, boo hoo! He's whining about being called boy, when he most certainly does not carry himself like a man! There is nothing but bad form here! He's missing his sword, he's missing his spirit, he's certainly done nothing to justify the title! He's no pirate king, he's nothing but the king of a great fat ruse! He's nothing compared to I, Captain Hook, the true pirate king!

[The melody comes in slow at first, with a gentle piano to underscore the tension.]

Of course, everybody deserves a fair shot! So, hit me with it!

Mr. King, I am overjoyed
To meet you face to face
You say you have quite a name
All around the place

Master of the seas
Sailing 'round like a bloke
An impressive reputation...
Unless it's all a joke~

[The music suddenly becomes bouncy, as Captain Hook dances about, singing and taunting.]

So you are the King
You're the great Pirate King
Show me what great pirates do
Let's see how you lead your crew

That's all you need do
And I'll concede to you
C'mon, king of this ruse

Kingy, you just won't believe
The hit you've made around here
You are all I think about
You are the wonder of the year

Oh, what a pity
If it's all a lie
Still I'm sure that you can rock
The cynics if you try

So you are the King
You're the great Pirate King
Don't leave me chomping at the bit
Unless you wanna up and quit

If you prove you're all that
Then I'll eat my own hat
C'mon, king of this ruse

I only ask what I'd ask any superstar
What is it that you have got
That puts you where you are?

I am waiting, yes, I'm a captive fan
I'm dying to be shown
That you are not just any man

So if you are the King
Yes, the great Pirate King
Prove your title, draw your sword

Or else you'll leave me rather bored
Or has something gone wrong?
Why do you take so long?
Come on, king of this ruse

Hey, aren't you scared of me, King?
Mr. False Pirate King
You're a joke, you're a buffoon
It's my title and you're a goon

Just go away
You've got nothing to say
Get out, you king of the,
Get out, you king of the,
Get out, you king of this ruse

You, the pirate king? Hah! You're going to have do better than that, boy!