When I was growing up, from the time I was eight until I was twenty-one, I believed I was a monster.
[It's difficult to talk about. Even though she feels like a completely different person from three years ago, in the best possible way... it's tough, remembering that.]
For all that time, I thought I was only a burden on my family. That everything I did, my very presence, caused them problems. I thought, many times, that if I didn't exist, or if wasn't there... that they'd be happier. I thought if I got rid of the monster, than all their problems would go away, and my sister could live the life she deserved.
[Elsa's hands fist tightly into her skirt, and for the first time in three years, she wished she had her gloves. That way, she wouldn't have to see the long since faded lines on her hands that she knows are still there.]
cw: suicide talk, past suicidal ideation, past self-harm
[It's difficult to talk about. Even though she feels like a completely different person from three years ago, in the best possible way... it's tough, remembering that.]
For all that time, I thought I was only a burden on my family. That everything I did, my very presence, caused them problems. I thought, many times, that if I didn't exist, or if wasn't there... that they'd be happier. I thought if I got rid of the monster, than all their problems would go away, and my sister could live the life she deserved.
[Elsa's hands fist tightly into her skirt, and for the first time in three years, she wished she had her gloves. That way, she wouldn't have to see the long since faded lines on her hands that she knows are still there.]
I didn't think I deserved to keep on living.