I-I don't know! Farrah was talking about how she wanted to end it and how there was nothing I could do to save her and the wine was making it hard to think and I--

I... I don't know if I was more scared that if I left she would kill herself or more afraid that I was right the whole time. That I can't keep my family together and that they would all die and leave me.

... I thought for sure that my only options were dying alone and scared, or dying with someone I loved.