itscurtains | And I'll Be With You When You Dream

[It's Sunday night! Boy, today sure has been a day, hasn't it?? Memories returned, Father's Day Gifts given, and Benjamin sure had a Time, didn't he?

Looks like it's time to find ways to cope.

Thus, the bed frames from Broadhurst dorm are being worked on being taken apart by Varian while the mattresses are becoming The New Floor.

Additionally, there's plenty to eat and drink, what with the hot pot provided by Rina, cookies that might just taste a bit burnt from Farrah, apples from Orpheus, more delicious potatoes from Maya, as well as sandwiches by Cassandra. There is also quite the variety of pie, from caramel, to bittersweet chocolate and strawberries, and several other varieties from the vending machine. Finally, there's popcorn brought in by Spongebob. If someone wants a drink, there is some delicious hot cocoa, provided by Elsa, as well as the tea brought in by Discord. There's also a variety of drinks from the vending machines.

Everyone's invited of course. There are a variety of games happening, and there's even a TV that's been wheeled down from the Library. So bring your pajamas, whatever they happen to be, and settle in for a sleepover!]

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[His breath is slightly uneven, as if there's a great weight on his chest. But at the apology, he shakes his head.]

You didn't know. I didn't...

I haven't seen my family in fifteen years.

[The Balladeer frowns and shifts to sit back against the wall as well, next to Benjamin in a quiet attempt to show support. Fifteen years? It's seemed horrible for Benjamin to be away from them for a matter of weeks!]

What happened?

[Benjamin doesn't answer for a long moment, lets his head fall back against the wall.]

There was a barber and his wife,
And she was beautiful...
A foolish barber and his wife,
She was his reason and his life,
And she was- beautiful.

[His voice cracks, his position making his adam's apple more obvious as he swallows. His tone changes as he continues, though, taking a darker turn.]

There was another man who saw
That she was beautiful.
A pious vulture of the law,
Who with a gesture of his claw
Removed the barber from his plate,
Then there was nothing but to wait--

[The Balladeer swallows as well, his blood running cold. But he thinks nothing of the turn the music takes now - of course it's dark, if something that horrible happened to Benjamin. Benjamin, his friend, who's supported them all this entire time, who only ever wanted to see his wife and child again.

In the shadows of the room, it's hard to make out his exact expression, but he hears the crack in his voice; he reaches out to put his hand over Benji's, if he'll let him.]

He - had you sent away? Just like that?

[The first question is just shocked and horrified, but with the second, he's already starting to move into a cold anger, something he hasn't felt since - no, not even the SQUIP. Probably not since the last time he spoke to the assassins. For someone in power to be so openly, blatantly corrupt - disgusting.]

[Benjamin doesn't react to the hand over his. But that also means he doesn't pull away from it, either.

He nods, in response to the question.]

Transported for life. Just like that. [With the hand that B isn't touching, he snaps his fingers.]

It took me ten years to get them to give me a chance to prove I wasn't a danger. Five more to earn the right to send home for Lucy and Johanna, but...

[The lump in his throat squeezes tight, and he grimaces, clenching his eyes shut.]

Our flat was empty. And no one by the name of Lucy Barker could be found, in all of London.

[The Balladeer curls his fingers over Benji's still hand, though it's an unconscious movement, a reaction to the fury building in him. He wants to spit venom; he wants to write a song that everyone could hear, so everyone would know the truth of the man. Maybe that's an underreaction, but it's the only thing he's ever been able to do.]

Transported. Isn't there any oversight? Don't they - ?

[...this is pointless, now. He lets out a breath and deliberately loosens his grip on Benji's hand.]

I'm sorry. Benjamin, I - I can't even imagine.

[The fingers curling over his own grounds him, in a way that he needs right now. His chest tightens and his eyes burn, and he digs the heel of the hand not being held against his eye with a grimace, trying not to cry. His breath shudders in and out of him, despite his best efforts.]

I forgot...

[His voice is small, smaller than a man of his size should be. He bites back an agonized hiccup. He wants to go back to the blissful ignorance of yesterday, when his worst problem was the nature of the academy itself. When he thought he still had a home to return to, with a loving daughter and maybe a houseful more, besides.]

God help me, I forgot. And it still feels like a dream. Like an awful, wretched nightmare. Like something that happened to another man.

...it's disorienting, remembering things like that.

[The Balladeer shifts, folding one leg under himself so he can face Benjamin properly. He's still close, enough so that he doesn't let go of his hand after all. Maybe he doesn't fully understand these things, but if it were him...he has to imagine any contact is a comfort. His free hand joins the other, clasping Benjamin's hand between them.]

And it's not your fault. It's not. The Wizard's got more than enough power to make any of us forget anything, no matter how important - he did this on purpose.

[The Balladeer has never really spoken of the Wizard with special anger, not like everyone else does. Maybe he understands it a little more. Maybe he's just not a very angry person generally; it's hard for him to muster those feelings for what seems like a faceless, distant overseer. But here, now, seeing this? He's mad. The Wizard's someone far away, but still so much closer than this corrupt lawman.]

[He's right. Contact is enough to remind him that where he is is real. That he hasn't escaped to some undamaged part of his mind, just to get away from the whip, and the heat.]

...Gives me a convenient excuse not to go back, when this is over.

I'd all but given up on finding out what happened to Lucy, but...

[He sighs. He's too broken to let himself truly hope. Fifteen years in a single night will do that, when they run together until it seems like one interminably long stretch of agony, repeating again and again forever.]

You should do whatever's best for you. Go - well. I wish I had a place to offer you, but I'm pretty sure I don't.

[He'll go back to the Player, no doubt, but after that? If that show is done now, he's not sure what might be happening. If it isn't, his future is even more uncertain. After what he's seen and experienced here...if it's ongoing, he won't continue with it. It's not just another show.

And even if he's got a place to land, it's not a proper story. Ben deserves a real life, with people and places.]

I'm sure anyone else here would be glad to have you, though. You could go somewhere new, where you don't have to worry about that bastard catching up with you.

[Narratively, he wonders - is Lucy's fate a mystery that would be solved, if Ben went back and finished out the story? But there's a solid chance it wouldn't be, and an even greater one that the answer would be tragic. He should do what's best for him.]

[He thinks about it. He may as well be dead, whatever happened to Lucy and Johanna. It would take an act of God to escape Australia, by legal means or non.

He could start over - Maya's invited him to come see her perform with her class.

But he shakes his head.]

Maybe. But I have to know for certain, that I really have nothing left.

I made her a vow. Til death do us part, that's what I said. Nothing less than certain death.

[The Balladeer bites the inside of his lip, but nods.]

Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Just - don't go alone, alright? You shouldn't have to go back there alone.

[And not just because of the threat of the Judge.]

...I won't.

[He might, if he has to.]

I've told enough of you here about her, it would be a shame if you never got to meet.

[The Balladeer flashes a small, tight smile.]

That's true. Don't know what I'll be doing, once we get out of here, but I'd love to meet her someday.

And I'll Be With You When You Dream

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