itscurtains | Is This Where You Wanna Be? Crawling On Your Hands and Knees?

[In a perfect world, Maya would have been able to isolate herself for the rest of the evening. It's not like her to wallow in her feelings, but it's also not like her to be trapped away in a murder school or part of an execution so... not like she has much choice there. Besides, between the influence of Janis, and the sight of her remaining dormmates, it's clear that Maya simply can't... let things go.

It's like she told the SQUIP. They look to her for hope. And so, hope she must be. It's her job to stand tall for the others. Thankfully help comes easier this time -- there's no need to scruff Discord, or try to keep Spongebob from making Hate Patties. Maybe that, in and of itself, is a good sign.

It's just another fluke. They'll be okay. They're together, after all. Even Salieri and Discord are getting along well enough to help.

Cutting potatoes proves to be an interesting task, considering the fact that most of the knives are missing. Maya has a few guesses as to how that happened, but she won't point fingers again today. She makes do with what she has -- two swords between her and Cassandra.

Potatoes, cakes, pies -- the arrangement is much the same. There's even cocoa (made by less experienced hands, unfortunately), and alcohol. It all feels like a repeat of last week, but she's trying to not think about it. She does her best to keep a smile on her face as she knocks on each door, inviting others to the cafeteria once more.]

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[ It's clear from the slack-jawed expression that this isn't something that's crossed her mind before. ]

You... You think we could...save him? Bring him back to life?

[ The rest, too, of course— except maybe the SQUIP, because god that's too raw right now— but in the moment Peregrine is...single-minded. ]

There must be a way. And even if the Wizard doesn't know it --

[Maya's expression wavers, just for a moment. She has to swallow before she speaks again.]

If the Wizard doesn't know it, then... I can go back to Seisho. I can win the Revues and ask to be sent to the Wizard's stage. I can stop this before any of it begins.

What? You— what does that even mean, you can do that, just- just go to his...to where he is?

[ Wait. Wait, there's something she's not fully processing here. ]

That's the deal. If a Giraffe can speak and transport me from the comfort of my room to his lair, then... Surely he can send me back

Back...

[ It clicks. It clicks then. ]

...But— ...then...none of us would've even met.

I know.

I would not have met Janis. Or you, or... anyone here.

But I am willing to give that up, to bring everyone back.

[ Peregrine takes a not-so-subtle glance at the folded cloak on the bleachers. ]

I... [ She should want to do anything to save them. Right? But... ] I wanna find another way.

Of course.

[Maya nods firmly.]

I fully believe that the Wizard is capable of bringing us back on his own. We just have to figure out how he does it.

[ Once again, Peregrine takes a moment to think about all this. She just lets it sit with her. ]

Okay. ...Okay, that's a good new goal.

We can take it one step at a time. One day at a time, even.

Right now, we need to focus on survival. Not just... safety, but in terms of ensuring that we remain as united as ever.

[ There's a moment— ]

I'm, uh... I'm sorry too. About...you know. [ ... ] Those...auditions? They're important to you. I shouldn't've said that.

Honestly... If someone had told me they were staking everything on the words of a Giraffe, I would think it odd too.

We just... don't come from the same background, is all. We cannot understand one another's struggle. That is what empathy is for.

[She shakes her head.]

I forgive you, Peregrine Wells.

[ Empathy. That's what she'd told the SQUIP. When just this week, she'd shown such a lack of it.

Almost overwhelmed, Peregrine leans into Maya's touch. After crying so much, well— what's just a little more? ]

I'm sorry. Thank you— I'm sorry—

[ She doesn't know what she would do if she lost Maya too. ]

You've already apologized, Peregrine.

[Maya pulls her all the closer, arm slipping around Peregrine's shoulders. The other stays in her hair, smoothing it down as tenderly as possible.]

[ She keeps crying. She can't stop. She cries into Maya's arms, shoulders shaking, clinging to her.

She doesn't seem inclined to let go. ]

[If she's not inclined to let go, then Maya isn't either. Her only other plans for the evening were practice, and that can wait as long as necessary.]

We'll be okay, Peregrine. I will keep you safe. I will keep all of us safe.

[ Part of her thinks this is pathetic. That she's giving up. That she has to be—

No. No, she doesn't want to be alone anymore. (Connor was alone. The SQUIP doesn't count— Connor shouldn't have been alone.)

...

She cries for quite some time. Until, finally she has no more tears left and she's just leaning against Maya, supported in her arms. She's too afraid to say anything. Too afraid to even move. ]

[Maya stays. Even if it feels unfamiliar, she stays. Leaving would be worse, this much she knows. And after turning her back on Peregrine once before, she can't imagine doing it again. She won't do it again. Even the idea of leaving her alone for the night, to let her sleep, sits uncomfortably in Maya's chest.

Briefly, she thinks about inviting Peregrine to stay with her. But it isn't just her dorm, after all. Connor had been there. And she doesn't know that Peregrine is ready for that.

So. Not tonight. But some other time.]

Will you let me walk you back to your room? I think you need rest, at this point.

[ Peregrine stays quiet for a few long moments. She had to have heard, they’re the only people in the gym. But— ]

I… I wanna shower off first.

[Maya gives a short nod.]

I can wait.

[ Her lips twitch a little, to a semblance of a smile. ]

...Thanks, Maya.

Of course.

[She gives Peregrine one last little squeeze.]

Come and find me
I am here for you
Come and find me
I’m looking out for you

[ Peregrine returns the hug, tight as she can right now.

It's a little tighter than Maya may expect, but it's while that that Peregrine says one more little prayer to whatever god could be listening, that this won't turn out like it did with Connor. ]

Is This Where You Wanna Be? Crawling On Your Hands and Knees?

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