Is This Where You Wanna Be? Crawling On Your Hands and Knees?

[mayavericks]

[In a perfect world, Maya would have been able to isolate herself for the rest of the evening. It's not like her to wallow in her feelings, but it's also not like her to be trapped away in a murder school or part of an execution so... not like she has much choice there. Besides, between the influence of Janis, and the sight of her remaining dormmates, it's clear that Maya simply can't... let things go.

It's like she told the SQUIP. They look to her for hope. And so, hope she must be. It's her job to stand tall for the others. Thankfully help comes easier this time -- there's no need to scruff Discord, or try to keep Spongebob from making Hate Patties. Maybe that, in and of itself, is a good sign.

It's just another fluke. They'll be okay. They're together, after all. Even Salieri and Discord are getting along well enough to help.

Cutting potatoes proves to be an interesting task, considering the fact that most of the knives are missing. Maya has a few guesses as to how that happened, but she won't point fingers again today. She makes do with what she has -- two swords between her and Cassandra.

Potatoes, cakes, pies -- the arrangement is much the same. There's even cocoa (made by less experienced hands, unfortunately), and alcohol. It all feels like a repeat of last week, but she's trying to not think about it. She does her best to keep a smile on her face as she knocks on each door, inviting others to the cafeteria once more.]

Comments

[samefacesyndrome]

[ Of course he'd misinterpret. She knew this wouldn't be that easy. But she's prepared... she'd spent the last few hours psyching herself up and convincing herself not to back up. ]

N-No, I... I think we mean "like" in... different ways...

[ She's still looking down but she grasps his hands tighter. ]

Maybe it's because you're here,
Maybe it's because you're near,
Maybe now it's why I see you're becoming my everything

[ That's right. No regrets. ]

Now I believe... there's a million feelings in me...

[ She looks up and forces herself to meet his eyes. ]

That tell me this might be... love.

I dont have an APPROPRIATE ICON FOR THIS I WAS NOT PREPARED- also 1/2 damn it

[alchemistake]

[Love. She just said...]

...love.

[Rina...loves him?]

You...you really...?

[That seems so...hard for him to believe. Them being friends? Yes. Close friends, sure, maybe...best friends is maybe pushing it. But...maybe it's less that he can't believe it, and more than he's struggling to believe she could love someone like him. Someone who-

...

Varian can't even feel his hands in Rina's anymore, never mind remembering where it is they actually are. He just stares at her with the dumbest expression he's probably ever had because a girl he also really likes just confessed to him and he literally can't process it.]

[alchemistake]

[I've gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over...

But he doesn't have time. None of them really do. At any moment- any day- they could lost someone else. They've seen it happen now with Mumble...Sissi...Connor. It could happen again just as easily. Time is the one thing they can't rely on being a constant.

Varian's hands shift in Rina's, moving until his thumbs are against the backs of her hands, brushing over her knuckles. They're so small in his.

He knows why she's telling him this now.]

In my life, there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

[He lifts her hands as he steps a little closer, close enough that the space between them is still comfortable, but close. It also gives him the room to let one of her hands rest against his chest so she can feel how fast his heart is hammering, so Rina can tell she's not the only one who's nervous here.]

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

[He brings her other hand that he's still holding to his lips, which feels immediately cheesey and like maybe he shouldn't have but it's too late now.

When he speaks without singing, finally, his voice is very quiet.]

...I feel the same way. I really do.

I'M FUCKING DEAD I HATE THIS 1/2

[samefacesyndrome]

[ There were a couple of ways she saw this going. But this? No way did she even dream to hope for this.

Her face turns red and she goes completely silent. Her face is... well, it'd be easy for me to say it's the same as ever wouldn't it? But it isn't, is it? Once you know Rina well the subtle differences are there when you know how to spot them and they're close enough now for that to be the case. There's the way her eyes soften, the way her eyebrows knit just slightly, the slack jaw, etc. She wants to hide her face like she often does so badly. But the board isn't here, nor is there a cardboard box, and Varian has both of her hands in his. There's no hiding now.

Her lip trembles for a moment as he kisses her hand and confirms his reciprocation to her. All the while she can feel his heart pounding with her other hand. ]

R...Really?

[ She closes her eyes, trying to recompose herself before reopening them and... shifting her hand in his so that their fingers lace together. ]

...I will share the pain with you
I will share the tears and I will love you through it all
Would you mind, if I just took a peek inside
Of those gentle eyes clear as the summer sky?

[samefacesyndrome]

Cause I know I'll find the answer...

[ ...She's smiling. She's finally smiling. Or maybe it's more accurate to say you can tell she's smiling now. that's the upwards curve of her mouth is a bit harder to miss than before.

Either way, despite everything else today, right now? She's happy. ]

[alchemistake]

[It's that smile of Rina's that really just...sort of makes everything real. Sure, Varian still feels like he's standing on a cloud way up high above the school, but the way Rina is looking up at him right now is what keeps him grounded.

God. He really wants to just...hug her, but he can't with the way their hands are, and he doesn't really want to let go there either...oh well. There will be time for that later. There's a sense of being overwhelmed with trying to want to do too much all at the same time as it is, so maybe he'd benefit from just taking a moment to chill and process this.

...of course, that won't stop him from laughing shakily and blurting-]

I...g-guess it's really okay for me to call you Rina-chan now...huh?

[samefacesyndrome]

[ She giggles at that. ]

I suppose so.

[ She looks at their hands and and lowers the one entwined with his. ]

Um... if it's okay, could I ask for a favor Varian-kun?

[alchemistake]

[A favor?]

Of course that's okay. Anything.

[samefacesyndrome]

[ She looks to the floor, feeling flustered again. ]

Um... if it's not too weird or a problem with everyone else in your dorm... c-could I... spend the night with you? [ ---wait. wait hang that might. give the wrong idea hold on ] N-Not in an inappropriate way just--!!

[ fret fret fret ]

When I'm with you... when you hold my hand... I feel safe. Like nothing is ever going to hurt me. And it's not like I don't feel safe with my room mates either, it's just...

It's different... with you. S-So just for tonight um...

[alchemistake]

[WELL.

If Varian's heart didn't already feel like it was going to explode out of his chest, it sure does now-

And in true Varian fashion, he's stumbling over his words before he can even like...properly think of how he wants to answer.]

Yes! I m-mean- if- I wouldn't mind at all! And I don't think the others would, I mean- Ruddiger would be there, but he won't be in the way probably-

[Deep breath. Hold it for a second, stop talking and think of your words before you speak.

Okay, let's try that again.]

...I would...feel a lot better having you with me tonight. Especially after today...I want you to feel safe.

[samefacesyndrome]

[ And there's smile again. ]

Th-Thank you...!

[ She feels a lot more relieved now ]

I'll have to make sure to tell Peregrine-san and the others so they don't worry.

[alchemistake]

[UGH...Rina smiling is sure to do Varian in. And honestly, it's enough to finally get him to very carefully pull his hands free from hers, if only so he can lean in to pull her into a hug. It's gentle, but also firm enough that it's not just a normal hug. It's one that makes his whole chest feel full with emotion, and it's genuinely a little difficult to sort through the equal amounts of happiness and feelings of loss he's having to deal with all at the same time.

Maybe he'll get used to it eventually, but he doesn't...want that to be something he has to get used to.]

Thank you. I've never had someone make me feel the way you do.

[He draws back slightly with a smile of his own, crooked and goofy.]

I guess I just feel really lucky that I'm the one who gets to see you smile like that.

[samefacesyndrome]

[ If she felt safe before from just holding hands, she feels especially so when he hugs her. It's difficult for her to sort through the conflicting feelings she as well, but for the moment she's just content to bask in this warmth.

What he says next though gets her to look up, a little surprised. ]

I'm... smiling? You can tell?

[ She can't exactly look at herself and see she actually is after all. ]

[alchemistake]

[Varian nods, and in this moment he wishes he had a mirror so Rina could see.]

You're smiling. You look...really happy.

[samefacesyndrome]

Th-That....

[ She smiles again. ]

Ai-san would say she could tell when I was smiling b-but I never really believed her...

[alchemistake]

You can definitely tell it now. Trust me.

[Varian's grinning too, as he pulls from their hug so he can reach out to take Rina's hand again.]

[samefacesyndrome]

[ She lets him take her hand, no longer holding it in that scared death grip she hand it in this time. She gives his hand a squeeze, but it's gentle. Reaffirming.

For the first time all day it feels like everything like be okay. ]