[Varian...doesn't want to say it aloud, since it sounds pretty bad thinking on it? But it won't stop him from thinking it: Salieri reminds him of Quirin. But...a Quirin he wishes he was. A father who was wholly understanding and supportive, regardless of the circumstances.

Somehow, that just makes him miss his dad even more. It's very bittersweet.]

I've been...trying not to show how I've been feeling. [He admits, not just to Salieri but also to himself.] I knew that if I was scared, or panicked, or even angry...the others would pick up on that, and maybe feel that way too. And...I don't want that. They all have their own stuff to deal with.

[But it's also not...healthy. It's sort of why he just collapsed in a puddle of his own tears after escaping the trial room.]